“You sure this ain’t got nothing to do with Cleveland?”
She nodded, eyes hitting me with honesty. “It do. Some days it’s hard for me to get outta bed. This was my first time eating since yesterday morning. I think what brought my appetite back was you coming home. When you left for Blakewood, I started thinking about leaving, too. Then I went looking for the recruitment paperwork from the guy who visited Millville High my senior year.” She nodded. “I made the call last week. And now I’m just happy to hear you going back to Blakewood. It would fuck me up if you came back and I wasn’t here.”
It made sense. That was why she was giving me weird human vibes. My big cousin was making sure I’d be safely away from Millville. And I knew this was serious business for Renata and she had not come to the decision to enlist lightly. Her boyfriend that she was with for three years was murdered a year ago. He was mistaken for someone else by a drug crew. Cleveland was a good guy. He worked in the casinos for a few years. The guy really loved Renata. They tried having a baby since she was seventeen. That may have been early for some people, but around here, having kids was the only thing you could control. Getting married didn’t always work, but making babies did.
“Listen, Tori.” Renata shifted in her seat again, the top of her body facing me. “I ‘on’t know nothing about this Ashton, but I do know you. If he got you thinking he cute, then we finally know you’re normal. I told you, you was normal. The special person for you—girl or boy—wasn’t around here or up in that boxing gym. I told you someone who could make you feel more than angry and afraid was out there. Didn’t I?”
I nodded. She did. At nauseum, Renata would tell me that when I shared with her how awkward I felt about my sexuality. She made it seem so fairy tale’ish, something so hard to conceive. I didn’t readily accept it because above anything else—dating, kissing, having sex—I wanted to be left alone. My cousins wanted romance for me way more than I cared to have it.
“Now,” Her index finger swept the air. “I ain’t saying Ashton the one you gone marry, and shit, but have fun. Act your age for once. You deserve to have somebody make you feel good about you.” A slick, suggestive smile lifted on her face as she pushed me at the shoulder playfully. “Shit. Let ‘im kiss you, too. You may like it.”
My eyes diverted to NeNe. “I did.” I cleared my throat. “I do.”
“Well, daaaaamn—”
“What?” Treesha and Toya were back, thankfully interrupting Renata’s unnecessary excitement.
My hard eyes shot over to Renata, warning her not to open her mouth. I hated attention outside of the ring, and she knew it.
Renata rolled her eyes. “Nothing. Let’s go.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, feeling the exhaustion from a long day into last night and an early day from traveling today. “I’m tired. I hope my mother’s home now.”
I caught the passing look between Toya and Treesha, then Treesha and Renata.
“What?” I demanded, handing NeNe over to her mother so I could stand. Treesha plopped NeNe on her tiny hip then looked to Renata. That’s when I shot Renata a nasty glare. “If you don’t stop with the weird shit, man—”
“She back fucking with Paul,” Renata finally spoke, but I didn’t understand the words right away.
“What?”
“Aunt Dot,” she specified. “She back fucking with Paul.”
My head jolted back until I caught it. My stomach turned weightless, and I couldn’t breathe.
“Paul?” I could hardly get out.
Treesha nodded hard and fast. I could see her chest sinking deeply as though she was out of breath. “I think that’s why momma don’t wanna do Thanksgiving. She don’t want Aunt Dot over.”
Damn. That hurt. It was worse than her not having sent me my money. She was back, messing around with Paul? Was he staying at the house?
I took a deep breath, not wanting them to think I was going to freak out, and I certainly didn’t want to in front of them. “Let’s go. It’s late.”
Toya turned to take off first, Treesha was next with the baby on her hip. Then Renata followed. I trailed behind, shaking like a leaf beneath my clothes.
Renata beeped the horn when my mother opened the door. I didn’t even wave in response. As