Our Muted Recklessness - Love Belvin Page 0,190

that of your employers. I know this isn’t much, but it is meant to extend an olive branch if you consider one necessary. I guess what I am trying to say is you have a friend in me should you care to.

Many blessings and warm wishes to you and your family.

Yours truly,

James Porter

It was no surprise that my face and chest were soaked by the time I got to his signature. I looked at the check again. It was nearly the same amount NormaJean had written out back in May. My hand went to my belly. In my wild thoughts, I wondered if Jimmy knew so much about my life, did he know I was pregnant? Would he have said if he did?

And why hadn’t Ashton tried to reach out to me?

I yawned, walking into my mother’s room. Freshly showered and having just twenty minutes to myself had done well, believe it or not. Her assistance was generous, and I was grateful. My heart melted in my chest when I heard his wails just feet away from the door.

“Oh, Bobby,” she sang while rocking his bassinet as much as her deep trembles would allow. “She’s coming right back.”

She wasn’t able to hold him much because of her condition, but other than that, you couldn’t keep her away from him.

I ambled over to the two and playfully sighed. “Now, Robert McNabb, I know you’re not hungry because I fed you before my shower.” His cries stopped, and those little bright eyes he’d stolen from a bossy human I’d once known widened as he recognized my voice. “And I know your pamper ain’t soiled either because your grandma would’ve said so.” I picked my son up and placed him on my shoulder. “So, that only means one thing: you want your momma. And you’re spoiled already.”

“He’s too young to be spoiled,” my mother griped. “I told you that enough times, KaToria!”

I laughed, walking little Bobby, as she nicknamed him, back to his room. He was here, and now a month old. Bobby ruled the house and was demanding as hell. But he was a welcomed party. I noticed my mother’s smile more and enjoyed the sound of her laughter. She adored everything the boy did, including sleep! He also distracted us from the stroke she’d had two weeks before he was born. It was a small one, but one that scared us like crazy. Her blood pressure had grown out of control the more immobile she became. We’d been focusing on her diet since the scare—and had been distracted by little man here.

Labor was hell, and delivery was created by the devil himself. After all those hellish cramps and impossible pushes, this precious thing had been born. I sat in the rocking chair I was able to purchase with lots of other fun baby gadgets thanks to some of the money Jimmy gave. I’d been reading to him at night as a ritual. I wanted my son to be smarter than me academically. I hoped a sharp mind was another trait he’d gotten from his father.

“What are we going to read tonight, lil’ man?” I asked while already lifting the book we’d started a few days ago. “‘Expanding Black Minds’ by Mr. Tyler Thomas. Yeah, let’s finish this.”

Going back to work after having a baby was harder than I thought. I didn’t want to leave him, but knew bills had to be paid. Childcare was expensive and, thankfully, I had a neighbor who had recently retired and could use the extra cash. It was also nice to have someone in the house with my mother regularly, too. Ms. Thompson kept an eye on Bobby, and my mother kept an eye on Ms. Thompson. And almost a week after returning from maternity leave, one of the supervisors quit, leaving an opportunity of a promotion for me. That raised my salary just enough for me to cut my hours to just two days a week at the diner. Another win for me. If it were not for childcare costs, I could have been down to just one gig. Nonetheless, I didn’t complain. I’d done it. I made a way for myself after the shit storm at that school.

It was now March, nearly a year since I left school. And while I sent a card expressing my thanks to Jimmy, I still had the wild suspicion of being watched. It wasn’t every day or every week, but every time I’d forgotten about the car, I’d

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