Our Muted Recklessness - Love Belvin Page 0,170

to hear. And for a moment, I was dazed as hell, unable to say shit. What the fuck had Tori said to her? I hadn’t seen her since the morning after Valentine’s Day, which was two days ago. She didn’t mention anything to me via BBM, neither had she called.

“Ashton!” Her tone was more pleading than angry now. “She’s different.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

Trisha shook her head, waggling her index finger. “I’m a grown ass woman; not an adolescent child. You can’t get me with that weak ass ‘special’ category. Is she just as special as Aivery or a different type of ‘special’?”

Way, way different! Different universe…

“What do you want me to say, because I’m not answering shit about Aivery.”

“Why, Ashton? Because that’s when it gets too personal? That’s when we get to see the gradient of ‘special’ in your mind?” Again, I was speechless. I didn’t owe Trisha Gaskin a tour of my personal life, but I respected her defense of Tori. “She’s innocent in more ways than even she realizes. The new designer wardrobe, hair, concert, flights home—”

Air vacuumed from my damn lungs. “How do you know about…”

Her switching weight on her hips, and maintaining that Black ass woman’s glare told me everything.

“She’s been scared!”

“Tori told you she’s scared of me?” I pointed to my chest.

“It’s not you, per se. It’s her heart, her head, her future. She’s outside of her comfort level here at BSU. She doesn’t fit in with kids like you and Aivery.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“She has no safety net! There’s no trust fund beneath, waiting to catch her when or if she fails. The only thing she has as tools are the talent in her fists and a pure heart. So much damage can be done here on this campus, because she’s getting mixed up between two kids who’re on the cusp of adulthood, and with a cushion that can afford you to fail for the rest of your lives and you’d be fine. Don’t put her at risk of being hurt beyond repair just for something fun to do, or because her Cimmerian background is exotic to your curiosities.”

My heart dropped to the floor. “Is that what you think?” I asked. “That Tori coming from a trailer park in nowhere South Jersey makes her an easy target for manipulation? I get off on underprivileged tomboys? Are you listening to yourself right now?”

“What does she have in common with debutant Aivery?”

“Not a fuckin’ thing!” Spit slung from my mouth as rage flared in my damn chest at that comparison. “You ever think the very thing that makes our friendship is that she’s nothing like I’ve seen or deserve?” Trisha’s mouth dropped, and my fucking anger increased at the fact that I’d just exposed myself to her. “She’s more than special. She’s rare, and so not like me. You think me giving her shit satisfies my ego? What if I can’t afford what can express my fuckin’ gratitude for her wanting to be my friend, Gaskin!” I barked.

Her mouth closed and shoulders lifted and dropped as she stumbled backward. She was out of breath and still angry, but quiet. Her eyes eventually fell to the floor, bouncing left and right. “I guess I may not have fully understood the depth of your friendship.”

“You’re not supposed to!” Her head swung up. “My friendship with Tori is between Tori and me only. Not only is it fuckin’ complicated, it’s precious to me. I can’t speak for her, but I’m aware of the position I’m in.”

Aware that I’m about to embark on a future that wasn’t planned with her. And that shit scares me to fucking death! It’s even bad now, being on the same campus as her without seeing, speaking to, or touching her.

“My fucking god, Ashton, she’s practically a virgin. She’s already experienced trauma, and can be left further traumatized by the shit you’re doing to her in bed. Being friends is one thing, but sex—sex where she’s cast under a spell and with questions because she has no clue of the experienced circle you’ve been in since you were a damn child—is an entirely different matter!”

NormaJean…

I cracked a salacious grin. “Are you referring to my dick game, Trisha Gaskin?”

“Don’t get cute with me, young man,” she snarled.

“Then don’t impede on my personal life,” I countered.

She took another deep breath, likely seeing how defenseless she was. Trisha grabbed her nose and shook her head softly. “I don’t mean to be bull-headed, it’s just

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