Our Muted Recklessness - Love Belvin Page 0,160

grunted, scrubbing her face with the palms of her hands over the table. “I hate this shit.”

Samantha pouted sympathetically. “And why does it feel like spring semester drags longer than the fall?”

I finished slurping on my milk and dropped the empty carton on the tray with the rest of my discarded food. This diet shit was harder this semester. Coach Luke wanted me to lose the few pounds I’d gained over the break.

“Because Dre’s basketball season spills into the spring semester.” Lyricah flashed a fake smile.

“That’s why I decided to give a freshman a chance.” Neemah gloated with a seat dance. “And one that has no interest in barbaric sports. Feels like the damn semester is flying by.”

They’d only been back on campus for exactly two weeks. Imagine how long the semester had been for me, having returned five weeks ago to start training. It was cool having the campus practically empty, like those earlier days when I was new here last fall. The only difference was instead of feeling abandoned, I felt lonely.

“Oh, god,” Neemah sighed, dropping her face toward her tray of food. “Here comes the get down crew.”

Teefah busted out laughing. “What did Tori call them? The West Beverly High kids?”

“But wouldn’t they be the Beverly High kids, because the West Beverly High crew were more down to earth.” Her face wrinkled. “Right?”

Before I could answer about the old show my older cousin watched reruns of like crazy, Karmen and Aivery were at our table. My heart dropped from my chest when Aivery’s face lifted in a grin.

She acknowledged me with her eyes alone. Aivery always looked stylish with long wavy hair, neatly made-up face, a cute bubble vest, and high heeled boots. “We’re two weeks away, huhn?”

“Wha—what?” I sounded like an idiot, but was seriously confused.

Aivery chuckled, rolling her eyes. “You’re so…different. The Combine, girl!” Her head angled as she grinned with a tight forehead. “He leaves in two weeks. I heard he’s been killing it in training.”

My damn belly rolled over, mouth stretched wide, but with empty words. I shrugged. “I haven’t heard from him.” That was mostly—painfully—true. I’d seen Ashton three times in the past five weeks, and two of those times were before he began training. The last time we hung out was three weeks ago, when he came to my room one night and stayed over. Other than that, Ashton and I BBM’d each other when we could. “I’ve been training.” Which was true.

Luke and Tyrone had been working on my endurance. Sometimes, I wondered if I should have never left campus for Christmas break. My body wouldn’t have lost momentum and I possibly wouldn’t be feeling as…strange as I had about not seeing Ashton like I used to.

“Oh,” she sighed, strangely, eyes locked to mine. I didn’t know how to take that. Did I say something stupid? “I mean…” Her eyes fell to the tray of food she held. “…I saw him over the weekend. We talked about our annual spring break trip. I guess he wouldn’t mention that to you.” Again, Aivery searched my face for something. Weird human. I had nothing for her as she basically jabbed me with, “Okay.” She shrugged and strutted off. Karmen laughed in tow.

“She’s such a bitch!” Samantha hissed. “Don’t say anything, but even Dre says she’s a snobbish bitch.”

So badly, I wanted to ask if Dre had mentioned anything about how Ashton was doing. I knew I could ask myself, but after our last night in the upstate New York wintery village, I decided never to let myself fall into the fantasy. It was the foolishness my mother likely had fallen into when she fucked every married man she did. Maybe she, too, felt the hope of being an Aivery. I did. That night on the balcony, I was prepared to ask Ashton if we could be a couple. I’d lost my mind, I know. But I’d finally lost sight of this thing he had with Aivery and felt the hope of having a boyfriend, something I hadn’t considered since…before Paul. That was killed when Aivery called, “needing him.”

“You heard about her brother-in-law?” Teefah whispered.

“Yeah. He died New Year’s Eve morning,” Neemah replied. “Boating accident. I heard the family was fucked up over it.”

The food in my stomach turned over. Is that why she called him? Ashton never said. Maybe it was because he found that personal, as in family business. I’d been right all this time. Those two would never be over.

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