the bathroom, switch books for my afternoon class, and grab clean workout clothes for training. But I saw Samantha’s head pop up as soon as I stepped inside. Right away, I could tell she was distant. There was something cold in her eyes.
“Hey.”
“Hey…” I went straight to my desk to dump my book bag. “What’s up?” I didn’t look at her.
“You mind if we talk?”
I shook my head and turned to give her my attention. “What’s up?”
I hadn’t seen Samantha since movie night on the lawn, if you counted three days ago, on Saturday. We met in the main cafeteria about the open-ended chemistry question. That day or the day after, when I’d gotten in just in time to see her leave for work. She told me then she’d be staying with Neemah that night. But I hadn’t seen her in two days, and it wasn’t because I wasn’t here. Ashton had an away game the team left for on Sunday night. That was the day before yesterday, so I’d been here instead of at his apartment, which meant if she was here, she’d seen me. But the basketball team had been kicking ass this season, and Samantha had been at every home game, cheering Dre on.
“You know I give you your privacy. I don’t pry or ask for details about your dating life.” She rubbed her dry bottom lip with her hand as her eyes swept the floor. But it was the crease in Samantha’s forehead that told me something was wrong. “I respect how you’re different. You’re an athlete…competitive and perhaps, that can lend itself to you being more internal and self-reliant emotionally.” Her eyes rolled up to me, but I had nothing for her. I was beasting to see where she was going with this. “But I know you’re seeing someone. I don’t know how serious you are, and it’s still none of my business if you don’t want to tell me, but—”
“What, Samantha?”
“Has your guy been spending the night over?” Laughter burst through my lips. If that’s what she was worried about, Samantha was wasting her stress. “Again, I don’t mean to pry. I’m just asking because we’re roommates and I don’t want to come in here and burst up your groove or anything.”
“Nah, Samantha.” I shook my head, still finding her unnecessary worry funny. “He’s never been in here.”
“About that. Does he have a girlfriend or something? I wouldn’t judge you. I’ll understand if that’s why no one has seen him—at least, I haven’t.”
Still laughing and relieved this wasn’t a real issue between us, I answered, “Nah, Samantha. He doesn’t have a girlfriend.” I really liked Samantha. I didn’t want her stressed.
“So, he hasn’t been here?”
I shook my head. “No. He ain’t been in this building.”
“Then why is that there?” She pointed beneath my bed.
My head spun and tongue went sour when I saw the empty condom wrapper lying just halfway under my bed. I couldn’t stop staring at it when I tried to think of explanations. I couldn’t blame it on Samantha, because she was a virgin like me—like I was.
“I—I…” I blinked hard. “Maybe I brought that back from his place…somehow.” I hated lying.
Fucking. Hated. It.
By the way Samantha’s eyes fell to the side, toward the floor, I could tell she didn’t believe me and this was super awkward. “Okay,” she chirped like a child. “But Tori, why is his letter jacket here?” She pointed again, toward me this time.
Right by my thigh was Ashton’s Panthers jacket. The same one I’d worn back from the pool four nights ago. The condom happened Sunday afternoon before he left for his away game. He must’ve dropped the wrapper and forgot to clean it up afterward. But the jacket was a completely different occasion.
Same shit, though…
My stomach turned over and I couldn’t stop blinking when I shared, “He let me borrow it last week when I’d gotten my hair wet at the gym. It was…” I swallowed nervously. “…freezing out and I needed to cover my head.” My heart thundered at that mostly true story. “You probably haven’t noticed it because…you’ve been so busy.”
“I saw it Saturday night.” Her mouth twisted as she couldn’t look me in the face again. “Tori?”
“Hmmm?”
“You can tell me anything. I’m the most non-judgmental person on this campus. I told you what his crew did to me. There’s no way I can push my nose in the air at anyone who’s had the hell they’ve thrown to folks.”