“It makes my life easier,” he said. His accent was faint in that way that said he spent a lot of time speaking languages that weren’t his own. But Xan supposed that was the life of someone who worked at one of the most popular tourist spots in Paris. “I’m Marc.”
Xan offered his hand out. “Alexander. Do I look shady? Is that why you’re following me?”
Marc let out a soft peal of laughter, his grin reaching his eyes. He pulled his hand away in a slow drag, and Xan knew exactly what it meant. “You look a little bit lost, Alexander.” He pronounced his name the French way, Alexandre—leaving off the last letters in a faint barely-there curl on the back of his tongue. “I was wondering if you wanted to be found.”
He swallowed thickly and realized that any other time—any other life—the answer would have been an enthusiastic yes. He did mourn the loss of moments he should have had—more things Max had robbed him of. The peace of traveling, the freedom of following a gorgeous man home for sex, leaving the last bits of youth behind without them drenched in regret.
“I think so, but…” He bit his lip and turned back to the knight on the statue of the horse and sighed.
“You’re waiting for someone?” When Xan looked at him in surprise, Marc laughed again. “I’ve seen it before. I don’t think Paris is truly the city of love, but it is the city of… illusion.”
“What about hope?” Xan asked softly.
Marc made a quiet, considering noise and took a half-step away from him, staring at the figure like he was contemplating the very nature of it. “I don’t know that I’ve ever need hope. Not like the way it shows on your face.”
Xan let out a puff of air. “I fucked up. I mean…I didn’t. I had to leave some people behind, and I don’t know if…” He didn’t say it aloud. He wasn’t brave enough to do that. He felt like it could jinx it somehow, which was absurd because if Sebastion and Luca were going to show up, they’d already be there by now. Or at the very least, they’d be getting ready to land.
“You have a very beautiful face,” Marc said. He backed up another step and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Your heart lives right in your eyes. Has anyone ever tell you that before?”
Not exactly like that, he thought, and he shook his head. “I’ve never been great at hiding my feelings.”
“No. Men like you are meant for heartbreak. And great love.” Marc offered him another smile. “If this person is not a fool, they will come.”
“And if they are…?”
His grin went even wider. “There’s a firehouse. A big party tonight with good drinks and very good music. If they’re foolish enough to break that heart, you come find me. I’ll help you pick up the pieces.”
Xan laughed, a soft noise of exhale mostly through his nose, and he didn’t look up until he heard Marc’s footsteps fade into the distance.
Even if Luca and Sebastion didn’t show, he wasn’t going to find that man. He was ready for something real, something good. Something permanent. It might not be what he was hoping for, but he had to believe it was exactly what he needed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Dear Alexander,
We’re on our way. You’ll get this after we’re all home, and I trust it’s going to be together. I have to trust it’s going to be together. Sebastion is staring at me like I’ve lost my mind, but I don’t care. Our plane leaves in three hours. We will see you soon.
Love Always,
Lucas
Inside of Charles De Gaulle, it smelled like old cigarettes and stale cologne. It was almost like a powerful memory punch of his grandparents’ house with their seventies orange shag carpet and terry-cloth sofas. His grandfather always smelled like Old Spice and peppermint, and he always had a pack of Camel Lights on the arm of his recliner.
He died from cancer when Luca was seven.
And he hadn’t thought about him in years, not until they rode the little tunnels with Sebastion gripping a suitcase on wheels behind them, and he was bombarded with the strangest sense of nostalgia.
“Idaho,” he murmured.
Sebastion didn’t ask. He just leaned forward and kissed him on the shoulder, which let the nervous thumping in Luca’s heart settle.
They got a taxi to their hotel which was teeming with people, and he wanted to shake