minute—especially after he heard Luca and Sebastion shouting at each other. After five minutes, the noise died down, and after ten minutes, he heard footsteps.
Two sets of them, heading his way. His heart thudded in his chest, and when the door opened and they took him in a strong embrace, he burst into tears and hated himself for assuming the worst.
He needed that moment, though. He needed to know that they’d reach some sort of normal where they fought and yelled and said things they regretted and made up with apologies and kisses and sometimes ice cream. He needed to know that it wasn’t going to be anything like Max—and he knew that would only come with time. His knee-jerk reactions would eventually soften.
Not now, but eventually.
For now, he just busied himself fitting his pieces in all the empty nooks and crannies of that home. Because it was more than just a house. His clothes hung in a closet next to theirs. His books and journals had a place on the office shelves. He had his own mugs in the cupboards, and his little spoons were nestled in with the big ones to the left of the stove.
Yes, it had only been six weeks, but it had almost been almost two years of knowing them. Of growing and learning to trust himself as he learned to trust them. The I love yous had been a slow burn of feeling it, of understanding it, and basking in it before he was brave enough to say it.
Luca, of course, had been first. Xan had predicted it would be during sex, when he was losing himself in his passion. Instead, it had been a quiet night outside on the porch swing, watching the stars. Sebastion was sleeping off a headache, and they had just finished cleaning up the soup they’d made for him. Luca had bundled them up in a shared afghan his mother had sent Xan for his birthday—another soft surprise of acceptance even though he hadn’t had a chance to meet her yet.
There were no lights so far away from the city, just a sea of endless universe above them. He swore some of the thick, heavy bands of stars were the arms of their galaxy, and it made him feel so small and so important all at once.
“Beautiful,” he’d whispered.
He felt a touch on his jaw and a quiet answer. “Yes. You are.”
He blushed and had a smart-ass comment at the ready when he turned his head, but there was something in Luca’s eyes that stopped his words. The gentle fingers turned into a palm cupping his cheek, then Luca leaned in.
Xan prepared himself for a kiss, but it didn’t come.
“I love you.” The words were barely above a whisper, painful and soft and perfect. He felt them seared into his ribs, just over the space where his heart beat. Luca stroked a thumb just under his eye. “I love you so much.”
Xan swallowed thickly, then licked his lips. “I…”
“Not yet,” Luca said, and Xan closed his mouth, then nodded. He was pulled closer, into the warm circle of arms, carefully situated between Luca’s spread legs. He could feel the other man’s heart beating against his back, and lips touched his neck over his pulse. “I know you do. I know you feel it. But you’ll know when the moment is yours to say it. I can wait forever if I have to.”
Xan knew it wouldn’t be forever.
He was the one who said it next. He knew Sebastion was hesitant, maybe even afraid to scare him off, but he hadn’t been thinking about that when they tumbled from his lips. He’d just come from a failed job interview, and he walked into the kitchen to his boyfriends kissing over cake batter. It was going to be a chocolate lava cake—he saw the ganache in a little bowl, and he knew they knew it hadn’t gone well.
And there was something so profoundly sweet about the moment, his heart ached in his chest, and he thought it might explode for a moment. Instead, he dropped his bag to the floor and hugged his middle. “I love you.”
They froze. Sebastion’s eyes went wide, Luca’s went soft.
Xan took a step closer. “I’m crazy—god. I had the worst day, and I feel like shit, but seeing you two…” He closed his eyes and let out a breath. “I love you.” He shrugged, but before he could drop his arms back down, he was gathered close