Operation Fake Relationship - Jay Northcote Page 0,40

for this mission.

“No. I’ll come. I’ve got cabin fever, and with the weather like this it’s my only chance to get out of the house today.”

Damn. Nick couldn’t think of a good reason to try to talk her out of it. “Okay. You ready to head out now?”

“Yep. Let’s go.”

How the hell was Nick going to buy lube without her noticing? He shot Jackson a panicked look, and Jackson shrugged and mouthed, “Good luck!”

Luck did seem to be on Nick’s side at first, because when they got to the petrol station Maria went ahead into the shop while Nick filled his car with fuel. Hopefully she’d have found what she needed and finished paying by the time he got inside. But when Nick entered she was still browsing in the chocolate aisle.

“Did you find the baby wipes yet?” he asked.

“No. I got distracted.” She grinned. “I know I shouldn’t give in to temptation after the amount I ate yesterday, but I really fancy some Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut.”

“Go for it. January is the time for self-control. I always think this week between Christmas and New Year is like a kind of food amnesty. Eat whatever the fuck you like, because it doesn’t count.”

She laughed. “If only that last part were true. But, you’re right about the rest. Fuck it. I’m buying some.” She picked up a large bar. “Okay. That’s it. No more snacks. I’m going to go and find the baby wipes.”

“Take the car keys if you want, then you can let yourself in and wait for me.”

“No, it’s okay. You won’t be long if you’re only buying crisps. Look.” She pointed. “They’re right behind you.”

Nick turned and sure enough there they were. The salt and vinegar he’d said he wanted were right at eye level, giving him no excuses. He took a couple of packets off the shelves. “I might see what other snacky stuff they’ve got,” he said vaguely. “Maybe buy some things for the drive tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Finally she wandered off.

Nick skulked in the snack food aisle, surreptitiously eyeing his sister until he saw her head for the tills. Then he hurried around towards the aisle she’d just left. Baby wipes fell into the general category of health/toiletries that might include lube. He scanned the shelves, finding tissues, pain medications, hand sanitiser, soap…. Then his heart leapt in excitement as he spotted condoms on the top shelf. They had lubricated condoms, but no actual lube.

“Bollocks,” he muttered, picking up a packet anyway. They might be better than nothing in a pinch, but Nick preferred a smoother ride. Who the hell made these decisions about what to stock in a shop that supposedly offered essential items? If condoms were essential but not lube it must clearly be some straight bloke who’d never been fucked in the arse. Now Nick would have to find some excuse to drag Maria to a supermarket. At least it was early enough in the afternoon that one would be open, even on Boxing Day.

When he reached the till, Maria was waiting near the door, far enough away not to notice the box of condoms he slipped next to the bags of crisps. He pocketed them as soon as the lady at the till had scanned them, and then he got out his card to pay.

“Did you find everything you were looking for?” she asked with casual disinterest as he tapped in his PIN.

“No,” Nick replied. Still annoyed at his thwarted attempt. “I was looking for lube, but you don’t seem to sell it.”

“Yeah we do. It’s on those shelves on the back wall.” She pointed.

“Oh. Right.” Surprised, Nick took his card back. It would have been more helpful if they’d had this conversation before he’d paid for everything else. “I’ll go and look again. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, love.”

Relieved that his mission was almost accomplished, Nick headed to the far end of the shop. As he rounded the corner he stopped short, staring a shelf full of assorted lubricants—but not the sort that would be any use to him and Jackson. WD40 might be useful for many things, but there was no way Nick was putting it anywhere near his arsehole, the same went for engine oil.

“For fuck’s sake! This is no bloody help!”

“Nick. What’s up?” Nick whipped around to see Maria standing just behind him. “What are you looking for?”

His cheeks burnt hot as his mouth fell open, but no useful explanation came to mind. “Um.” He swallowed. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

“Is there something