"He's just trying to make sure you take good care of yourself, darlin'," he said.
I sighed and the fight went right out of me. After my outburst and the tears, I was actually exhausted. I probably wouldn't have been able to work tonight anyway.
"Well, the food is ready. Think you can scrounge up the energy to come into the dining room and eat?" my mother asked, raising her eyebrows.
Though she phrased it as a question, I knew that it wasn't. I was expected to pull myself together and go back downstairs and have lunch with the rest of the family, humiliation be damned.
"Let me wash my face and I'll be right down," I said.
She smiled at me and gave me a single nod. "I'll call the kids in and tell them to wash up. By the time they're done with that, you should be downstairs."
In other words, I had seven or eight minutes, tops.
"Okay, Mom."
She left the room, closing the door softly behind her.
J.J. waited a moment before he said, "If you're not up to this, we can leave. I'll carry you out if I have to."
I smiled at him, the offer making me love him even more. "It'll be okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'll have to face them all eventually. This way I have regret on my side, at least my brothers' regret, so they'll be much more likely to accept my apology gracefully."
J.J. shook his head. He was all too aware of how my brothers could be. "If you're okay with it, I'll stay with you the rest of the afternoon."
"Thanks." I forced myself to leave his embrace and get off the bed. I walked to the door that led to my bathroom. My dad had converted one of the linen closets into a three-quarter bath for me when I turned thirteen. I wasn't sure if it was for my privacy or if he was afraid my brothers' friends would start "accidentally" walking in on me if I used the other upstairs bath, but I'd been extremely grateful when he'd done it.
The room was tiny with only enough space for a corner shower, a minuscule pedestal sink, and a toilet, but it had been like heaven to my thirteen-year-old self. No boy funk, no pee on the toilet, and no gross stuff growing in the shower.
I washed my face with cool water and used a damp cloth to wipe away the last traces of my make-up. My eyes were still swollen and a little red, but I no longer had black smears around them.
When I emerged, J.J. was standing by the door that led into the hallway. "Ready?" he asked.
I nodded and he held out his hand. I took it, lacing our fingers together.
We went back downstairs and I heard Danny, D.J.'s oldest, ask, "Where's Auntie Lee?"
I realized that I hadn't given the kids a single thought when I'd had my tantrum and I was so glad that they had still been outside and missed it.
I knew that my brothers weren't shy about cursing in front of their kids, but I knew that my outburst would have scared them because I almost never yelled.
"She was upstairs but she'll be down in a second," my father answered.
I had no idea if he'd witnessed my tantrum but I knew he wouldn't bat an eyelash. He knew that I was harder on myself than he ever could be.
Letitia was there, herding her two boys into the powder room attached to the kitchen, but she stopped and came over to me when she saw me.
"I'm so sorry," I said before she could speak.
"It's okay, honey. It's not the first time I've seen you lose your temper since I met your brother and, knowing him, you'll do it again at some point."
"I shouldn't have brought you into it."
She gave me a tight hug. "I'm kinda glad you did because I'm going to get special treatment for at least a week or two because you made him feel bad." She laughed and released me. "So, maybe I should be thanking you."
"Thank you for not being mad at me."
"It'd take a lot more than that to make me mad at you, Lee. I mean, I put up with your brother, after all."
I had to laugh then, and she left to get her boys cleaned up before lunch.