too small for J.J. and I together. Add the baby into the mix and it would be so crowded we couldn't turn around.
And that was the moment I burst into tears.
"Oh, crap," J.J. said as I sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."
Of course that only made me sob harder because I felt even worse.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," J.J. murmured, his mouth suddenly by my ear. Somehow he arranged us so that he was sitting in the chair and I was in his lap. He hugged me close, rocking me back and forth as he stroked my hair. "I didn't mean to upset you. Please don't cry."
I hiccupped a few times but I couldn't stop the tears long enough to tell him that it wasn't his fault for being right.
He stood up with me in his arms and carried me into my room. I tucked my face into his neck as the tears kept coming. J.J. sat on the edge of the bed and continued to hold me while I cried.
I wasn't sure how long I wept, but when the tears finally calmed, my eyes felt swollen and hot. My nose was stopped up and my throat ached.
I sniffled then laughed when a tissue appeared in front of my face, held between two of J.J.'s fingers.
"Thanks," I muttered.
I took the tissue and blew my nose. Another appeared in front of my face where it was tucked beneath J.J.'s chin and I laughed again. I took it and wiped my cheeks, eyes, and the tip of my nose. I crumpled them up and tossed them on my nightstand.
"At the risk of upsetting you again, can I ask what brought that on?" J.J. asked, his tone conversational.
I sighed. "It wasn't your fault," I answered. "It's part hormones and part sentiment. This was my grandmother's house. She left it to me when she died and I hate to leave it."
"Ah. I understand."
I huffed a little laugh. "I'm glad you do because I don't. Not completely anyway. I've never been much of a crier and now I'm tearing up at the drop of the hat."
"Well, you did say it was partly hormones," he said, making me laugh again.
"Yeah, they're a pain." I kept my head down and rested my cheek on his chest.
"Wanna lay down for a few minutes?" he asked.
I nodded.
He turned and I crawled off his lap onto the bed. When he started to get up, I reached out and took his hand.
"Will you stay with me for a few minutes?" I asked.
"Sure." J.J. stretched out on the bed next to me, his head resting on my pillow.
"I know you're right about the house," I said. "And I know we'll have to move somewhere bigger soon, but it just hit me sideways, you know? I wasn't even planning on dating anyone and here I am married, pregnant, and now I'm going to have to move out of my house. It's a lot." I stared at him. "I know it's a lot of change for you, too."
J.J. reached over and took my hand in his, our elbows bent so that our fingers rested on the mattress between us. "It is, but I'm not the one whose body is going through enormous physical changes or who's going to give birth. It's a huge stress on your mind and body and I only want to minimize it as much as possible for you, which is ridiculous because it's literally impossible."
I smiled at him. "That's actually pretty sweet. Does that mean you'd carry and birth the baby for me if you were able?"
"Um, let's not go too far," he answered. He smiled when I laughed. "I would if I could, though I'd probably be a huge wimp about it. I'd probably beg for drugs once the first contraction hit."
"I probably will, too," I answered.
"Then, I'll make sure you get them."
I squeezed his hand, still smiling. My firestorm of tears had worn me out and my eyelids were suddenly heavy.
"Will you lay here with me for a while?" I asked.
"I can do that."
"Good, 'cause I need you," I muttered.
"You have me."
"For now," I whispered already more than half asleep.
17
There was someone in my bed.
That was my first thought as I woke up.
My second thought was that I didn't mind in the least because it wasn't just anyone. It was J.J.
I knew because I slit my eyes open and I could see his chest and legs stretched out in front of me. My cheek rested on his