Only Her Best Friend - Cami Checketts Page 0,48
appreciated that, and so he continued quickly, wanting to be done with this. He didn’t like showing weakness, even to Meredith. “I escaped from her and the valley as soon as I graduated. I wanted to go prove to her that she was wrong about me. I wasn’t a failure, a fake, a show-off, but maybe I only proved the first one. I fake being happy more than I want to admit, and I’m definitely a show-off with my career.”
“I love that you choose to be happy. I think most people fight for a positive attitude and have to make that choice over and over again.”
He stared at her, digesting that. He knew he wasn’t unique in having to choose to be happy, and maybe if he would have revealed weakness to anyone else, he’d find that people could relate. He still doubted he’d tell anyone but Meredith, but it was definitely something to think about, and to watch for those he could help be happier.
“And you’re not a show-off! You’re an impressive athlete who people around the country love and idolize.”
“Thank you, Mer,” he managed to get out.
She smiled gently, as if she knew how close he was to humiliating himself and breaking down. She scooted closer, wrapped her arms around his waist, and laid her head against his chest. Cruz wrapped her up tight and held her close. It felt so good, like a healing balm.
After a wonderful minute, he kept talking, “Grams is demanding that I not listen to the voice of a ‘crazy, selfish woman,’ and I know she’s right. I’m trying hard to listen to the voices that believe in me: Cat, my dad, Grams, my cousins, Heavenly Father, and …” He smiled down at her. “You.”
She grinned back and softly kissed his cheek. It took everything in him not to claim her lips with his again and to finish this hard conversation. “I’m also praying harder for strength to get my mom’s voice out of my head and listen to the Spirit instead. I know in His eyes I have worth.”
“You do, Cruz,” she said fervently, lifting her head and begging him with her gaze. “More worth than you’ll ever comprehend. And in my eyes, you’re a superhero, a giant among men, a prince.”
Cruz half-smiled as her words were a little bit over-the-top and cheesy, but he loved them just like he loved her. “Thank you.” He gently kissed her forehead, wishing he could just go for her lips. “So, you understand why I felt like I wasn’t worthy of you, and why I never dared beg you to date me.”
“That’s still tough for me to comprehend. You’ve always seemed so confident and with-it.”
“Fake it till you make it, right?”
“If you’re faking confidence and happiness, you are even more impressive because I can’t imagine anyone in this world wouldn’t think you were the master of both.”
“I try. Honestly, I’ve been pretending for so long that it’s like a second skin to me. I pretend to be confident, and most of the time I am confident and happy. I absolutely love what I do. It seems like it’s only when something is really important that her snarky voice pops into my head and drags me down.” He stared at her. “Like last night. Like all the times I’ve wanted to go for you.”
“What can I do to help?” she asked, sweet as ever.
He tightened his hold on her. “Just be you—sunshine, sweetness, beauty, and light. That’s what you are to me.”
“Oh.” She blinked up at him and then waved her hand in front of her face. “You’re going to make me cry.”
“We don’t want that.”
“Kiss me quick then,” she suggested playfully.
He chuckled and complied. He didn’t want to ask, but he had to, “Now that you know … what I am. Do you want to run?”
“Never,” she said fiercely and so cute his thoughts scattered. “Cruz, we all have our issues. It makes me feel awful that you were raised like that while I was raised with love and understanding and inspiration. Yet honestly, I still have some issues.”
His brow furrowed. “What are you talking about? You’re perfect.”
“Let’s start with how scared I am after almost being sold into sexual slavery last month.”
His stomach churned. “Nobody could blame you for that. I think you’re incredibly brave.”
“Thank you.” She ducked her head slightly but then said, “Do you want to hear more of my issues?”
“I want to hear everything about you.”
“I’m too shy,” she continued quickly,