One Week - By Nikki Van De Car Page 0,18
and once they caught me with the stuff, there had to be consequences, right? The Dean of Students said I was lucky not to get charged. And as for pointing the finger at my friends, what difference would it make? I still took the drugs from the guy with full knowledge of what I was doing. They have evidence of that. So it would just be taking my friends down with me. Completely pointless.”
I shake my head. “You're really, really stupid. You know that, right?”
“It's becoming clear to me,” Jess says heavily. “So my mom is pissed, obviously, because UCLA gave me this great scholarship, and now, with this on my record, the only schools that will take me are shitty community colleges in the middle of nowhere. And I don't blame her—I'm pissed at me too—but I just can't take hearing about it again and again. It's like, yes, I fucked up, you know? I'm completely aware. You don't have to keep telling me.”
“And that's why you decided to go to a bar rather than go home.” And why you let the bus leave without you at the rest stop, I add silently.
“Yeah. Kind of faulty judgment there, I admit. Which seems to be the case all the time, lately.” Jess stares morosely at his Converse, and I follow his gaze, seeing where the canvas is all worn through around the rubber. His feet must get wet when it rains.
“Well,” I shrug. “It's not like my judgment has a lot to say for itself these days either.”
Jess doesn't push, he just waits patiently for me to continue. And so I do.
“It's not that I think taking off was a bad decision,” I explain. “My life hasn't been my own for…ever. And it's not like I'm planning to disappear forever or anything. I know that won't happen. But I needed to show my father that I'm an actual person, not some blank slate with hair and a pretty face that he can turn into whatever publicity-seeking freak he wants me to be.”
Jess crinkles his forehead. “Why would he want to do that? I mean, what's in it for him?”
“Hell if I know,” I exclaim, throwing up my hands. “I've never understood it. It gets him attention, keeps our name on people's minds, I guess, which makes it easier for him to get projects, which get more attention, on and on. But I think he genuinely likes that kind of attention, and he can't understand why I don't, no matter how many times I try to explain it to him.”
“Well, what happened, exactly?” Jess gestures at my blistered feet and my lack of a change of clothes. “It looks like you kind of left in a hurry.”
I bite my lip. “Well…you know Thom Derrek, right?”
Jess makes a face. “Worst actor ever in the history of the world.”
I chuckle half-heartedly. “Yeah. Well, my dad set us up on a date yesterday, and--”
“Wait, hasn't he just been charged with date rape?” Jess's eyebrows furrow.
“Um, yeah. My dad said that he had it on good authority that the accusations were false, and that Thom and I would be a great fit—based on what, exactly, I have no idea—and anyway he kept at me about it until finally I agreed. But I made him promise to stay with me the whole time—I was a little nervous about it, you know? So Dad had him over for dinner.”
I stop, and take a deep breath. Jess reaches over tentatively and takes my hand. I pat him awkwardly and let go. “Nothing happened, really,” I say. “You don't need to look so freaked out.”
“What did happen?” Jess asks gently.
“Well, shortly after Thom got there, we were standing around having drinks, and my dad got a call that he said he had to take. Like it hadn't even been fifteen minutes and he abandoned me. And Thom…”
I stop again. Jess squeezes my hand again, but doesn't say anything. “He didn't do anything, at first. He just started talking. Like the guy on the bus. And I didn't know what to do—I mean, it was my house, but he was acting like this was perfectly normal behavior and it all just felt so surreal. And then he…he grabbed me and shoved his fingers up my crotch…and he, he bit my shoulder.”
Jess's eyes flick over to the mark at the base of my neck. He squeezes my hand so hard it hurts.
“And I pushed him away and ran out the door.