He grinned. “Believe me, there are a million things I’d rather do with you than talk, but this time it’s important that you follow orders.”
“Your orders?”
“Yes, my orders. That gambler back at the stage station, Frank Sanders, is part of a gang led by a man named Thorn. We’ve both seen Sanders and therefore can identify him. Which means Sanders, and maybe Thorn, will want us dead as soon as possible. I want you to promise to stay in the camp until I get back. Trust no one that Sergeant Cunningham doesn’t trust.”
He squeezed her shoulders. “Do I make myself clear?”
“I’m not in the habit of being bossed around, McCord.”
“Well, I’m not in the habit of caring about anyone.” He swore and added, “There is nothing I’d like more than to bed you right now and we both know I could, without you stopping me.”
“Would you have stopped if I’d said the word?”
“I would. I will.” He set his jaw as if testifying in court. “I said the words and I meant them. I had to let you know you had control. I know I came on a little fast and strong, but on my honor I would have stepped away if you’d ordered me to.”
“A little fast,” she mumbled, knowing her lips were bruised from his kisses and her throat probably black and blue from where he’d taken the time to nibble on her flesh.
He kissed her forehead. “I’ve a mission to finish and if I bed you tonight, I might end up leaving you alone with child. I’ll not do that, Anna.” While hugging her, he let his honest words flow over her. “I have a hunger for you, like I’ve never felt before. I don’t know if it’s that I want to believe you could belong to me, or if part of me already belongs to you. This doesn’t feel like something we can cure in one night.”
She was shocked by his caring. She had no doubt that he wanted her, but now she knew he cared. “You might get killed on this mission? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“The odds aren’t with me this time. I feel it so strong I’d already decided before I climbed on that stage that this would be my last ride as a Ranger.” He lowered his head and kissed her bare shoulder. “If I make it through the next few days, will you be waiting for me? I’m not asking for any promises, I’m just asking that when I knock on that door again you’ll throw the bolt and let me in.”
She stepped away, shaking. He hadn’t asked her to let him stay. This wasn’t a marriage proposal or even a promise of one, but it was as close as she’d ever come to one again. She had always been a proper lady. What he was asking was that she’d welcome him in. Not just to her house, or room, but to her bed.
She fought back a sob, longing for him to whisper “forever” between them, but knowing she’d not ask for so much. She might never have him stay. Without a single doubt she knew it would take all the strength she had to take only what this Ranger could offer and then watch him leave when their time was over.
“Anna,” he snapped. “Stop breathing so fast. You’re driving me crazy.”
She looked at him and then down at the gown almost falling off her breasts with each breath. Crossing her arms over her, she began to pull up her gown.
His hands shot out to grip her wrists.
She met his eyes, no longer cold, but stormy with anger and need.
“Don’t,” he said, gritting his teeth.
He hesitated as if refusing to explain why.
“Let go of me,” she said. “Stop.” She felt like she was bending him to the breaking point. She guessed there were very few things in his life he wanted or needed. Apparently she was one of them, but if he didn’t let go right here, right now, they would never be equals, and for her there could be no other way.
“Stop,” she said again, almost calmly. “Turn loose of me.”
She saw the blink of his eye and knew she’d stood down a fighter who’d never backed away.
His grip loosened and gave. He stepped away and raised his hands in silent surrender.
She’d broken him, but passion still fired in his gaze like a fever out of control. “Sit down.” She pointed to her traveling trunk.