should have crossed the Red River and set it up in Texas.
She told herself she didn’t care what Ranger Wynn McCord thought of her or her clothes; he’d been nothing but rude to her all day. When the firing started he’d shoved her to the muddy floor of the coach and demanded she stay there. When they’d pulled up at the station, he’d almost ripped her arm off, jerking her from the stage and telling her to run. When she’d turned to grab her small carpetbag, she swore she had heard him growl at her.
As Annalane opened her mouth to finally point out a few of his faults, she froze, seeing only cold steel across the depth of his winter blue eyes, and she knew he wouldn’t care. For one second, she wished he’d let down his guard and she could see what was inside this hard shell of a man. Surely something lay beneath.
Had he ever wanted to belong somewhere, just for one moment in time? Wanted it so badly he would believe a lie to think he was needed? Wanted it so desperately that he tried to mold himself into something he wasn’t?
For one blink, she thought she recognized a loneliness that matched her own, but she doubted he had the hunger to belong somewhere as she’d had for ten years. The need to belong to someone ached in her sometimes like an open wound, but need and dreams had no place in her life.
She’d held to a dream once, then it had been shattered by one bullet. Annalane guessed this Ranger had never known love, not even for one minute. McCord had probably been born to this land and hard times. She’d not reach him with sentiment and crying.
Honesty was her only weapon and she prayed it would work.
“I have no husband to lock the door at night. I was married once for an hour before he left for the war. When he returned, his body was nailed into a box. I joined the army of nurses needed, and for four years moved between hospitals and battlegrounds.” She knew she was rattling on, but she had to reach McCord. “I was baptized into battle medicine at First Bull Run, Virginia, in ’61 and was there at the last in Bentonville, North Carolina, in ’65. There were dozens of other places where blood soaked the earth. Until last month, I worked at the Armory Square Hospital.”
Something changed in the Ranger. He shifted. “I was at First Bull Run with Terry’s Rangers. Hell of a battle.”
She almost commented that a few of the bullets she dug out of Northern soldiers were probably his, but she remained silent. The war was over, had been for five years, even if the nightmares still remained.
“What do you want to know?” His voice was as low as the rumble of thunder outside.
“What are our chances? What options?”
The corner of his mouth lifted slightly and she had the feeling he hadn’t smiled in a long time. “Spoken like a soldier.”
She accepted the compliment. “One thing, remember.” She held his stare. “The truth.”
“I’m not in the habit of lying, Mrs. Barkley.”
“No sugarcoating. Nothing left out.” She’d been lied to enough to last two lifetimes. Even as she’d packed, she’d known her brother wanted her help for something other than to set up his medical practice. The silver lining in her predicament was that she’d spoiled whatever plan he had for her tonight by being late.
“Fair enough.” She felt the Ranger’s words against her cheek more than heard them. “I guess for what you did during the war and afterward, you deserve my respect. I saw nurses handling chaos that would bring most men to their knees. One angel in blue stopped by me in the shadows of a battle once. She wrapped my leg tight and whispered for me to hold on.” The side of his mouth twitched in almost a smile. “I’m not sure I would have made it if that woman hadn’t been so determined I would.”
He looked at her and raised one eyebrow, as if wondering if she could have been that angel.
Annalane didn’t answer. She’d done such a thing many times, as had all the other nurses. When they moved among the blood of battle they didn’t think of sides, only of helping.
McCord shrugged. “I don’t guess it matters now. You wore blue and I wore gray, but I figure we were in the same hell. You’ll have your whole truth