One Summer in Santa Fe - By Molly Evans Page 0,56
way out of the cubicle and to the coffeepot provided for families. He didn’t speak, but stared into the depths of his cup.
“It’s different, isn’t it?” she asked, her voice soft and full of compassion.
“What?”
“Being on the other side of things. Not in charge, not the one calling the shots, not the one fixing everything.”
“Yes.” He couldn’t begin to explain how different it was. Having been there herself, Piper knew exactly what was going through him.
“Hurts, too, doesn’t it?”
Taylor turned away without answering. Despite having made love early that morning, he didn’t feel close to her at the moment. He didn’t know what he wanted. Didn’t know what he needed. Right now he just wanted to be left alone. Alone was what he was good at. Entanglements got him into situations like the one he was currently in. The allure of Piper was almost too much, he almost wanted to reach out to her, to tell her what he was feeling for her, but he just couldn’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever. Maybe a bit of fresh air would clear his head. “I need to go for a walk, clear my head. Can you stay with Alex for me?”
Piper stared at him a second before she gave the answer that would tear her heart in two. “No, I can’t.”
At that, he turned to face her, shock on his face. “What?”
“No, I can’t stay with Alex for you anymore.” She dumped her coffee and tossed the cup in the trash. “I just can’t, Taylor. I can’t be around you, I can’t be with Alex right now. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
He stepped closer and took her by the arm. “I thought we were friends, Piper.”
“Yes. We have been. We’ve been friends and lovers and now I can’t be either to you.” Tears swirled in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall. “I’ve got to figure out what I’m doing on my next assignment or where I’m going, what I want to do next.”
Taylor dragged a hand through his hair. “What’s going on? What’s the matter with you? I need you right now. Don’t you know that?”
“Yes, I know. I can’t be with you just because it’s convenient for you to need me right now. When this is all over, you won’t need me anymore, and I can’t live like that.” No. She just couldn’t do it anymore. The past was headed for a repeat if she didn’t stop it now. If only Taylor had said he wanted her with him, wanted her company, her presence, her support, that would have been different. Wanted her, not needed her.
“Live like what?”
Her lower lip trembled, and she took in a breath before she buckled and gave in to him. “Loving a man who doesn’t love me back.” With a hand pressed to her mouth, she turned to walk away.
Taylor felt like someone had punched him in the gut, and for a second he couldn’t breathe, let alone take in what she had just said. He was such a bastard. He didn’t want to hurt her but, dammit, he needed her help right now. Needed her more than he’d ever needed anyone in his life.
“You…you love me?” he asked, not really expecting an answer.
Tears now overflowed her eyes and she didn’t seem to happy about it. “Yes, Taylor. Fool that I am, I love you.” Her lower lip trembled and she turned away from him.
With unnamed emotions shooting through him, he reached out a trembling hand and placed it on her shoulder before she walked away from him for good. “Piper, please.”
She stopped, but didn’t turn back to him. She waited and he felt every tense muscle in her shoulder.
“To say this comes as a shock to me is a gross understatement. I don’t deserve your friendship, let alone your love.”
Finally, she turned to face him again, the hurt in her eyes plain to see. He hated that he had put it there, and he wasn’t sure he could make it go away. Reaching out to her, he cupped her face so she didn’t withdraw from him again.
“Will you please stay? I don’t know what’s going to happen between us, but I know if you leave we’ll never know.”
For a few seconds that seemed a lifetime to him, she stared at him silently, assessing the truth in his words. He didn’t know if what he felt for her was love or not. But he knew that the thought of never seeing her again