terrible events of the past is not doing me any good,’ she tried to explain. ‘I need all my strength when our Eleni comes, I need to be well for her.’ As much as Calli’s curiosity and dismay nagged at her, she also understood and respected her aunt’s wishes. Eleni would soon be here and the story would continue. Then at least she would be able to discuss the revelations with her mother instead of being left to ponder and speculate on her own; she must just have patience and wait.
‘Besides, Calli dear,’ Froso told her, ‘you too need a rest. You have been through a good deal yourself. You need a holiday, you need to enjoy yourself – I’ve burdened you enough for now.’
The time preceding Eleni’s arrival turned out to be more enjoyable than Calli could remember for a long time. If the weeks she had spent in Ikaria had revealed things about herself she had no idea she possessed, then her days spent on Crete were to recover aspects of her persona that she had apparently forgotten. She found joy in simply living for the moment instead of pushing herself into producing, planning and working towards the next project. A return to simpler pleasures, those she remembered as a child and then as a young single woman at her grandmother’s house before her career took off and before she allowed James’s needs to take up most of her free time. She should have listened more closely to Josie, she told herself, who seemed to be the only one to point out James’s failings. Everybody else, including her mother and father, took the discreet stance that it was her own life to do as she saw fit, but Josie pulled no punches. Besides, the two women had known each other since childhood and better than anyone, they were each other’s best friend; they were soul sisters and Josie had no inhibitions about speaking her mind. ‘What happened to you?’ she would protest to Calli if she witnessed a particularly petulant incident with James. ‘You never used to put up with shit from anyone, why are you putting up with his nonsense?’ Josie came from a long line of women who told it as it was, and she wasn’t going to tolerate any man’s bad behaviour when she saw it. But Calli, swimming in a sea of denial, had put Josie’s intolerance down to the fact that her friend wasn’t in a relationship and failed to understand compromise and negotiating life with another person . . . or so she told herself, ignoring the warnings and her inner voice.
Evenings in her aunt’s garden were now filled not with confessions of disturbing events which had taken place long ago, but by visits from friends and relatives all determined that she should enjoy her stay with them in the Cretan way. There were still times when she toyed with the idea of calling her mother to have a discussion about what Froso had told her, but she suppressed the urge – it wouldn’t be long now until she arrived. If her decision not to discuss her aunt’s story with Michalis had been the right one, then her decision to be candid and open with him about her own life was even better and brought a more intimate connection between them. The better she came to know him, the more fond of him she became.
‘It’s hard to imagine how you managed to cope after losing everything you held dear and then losing your baby . . .’ Michalis said to her one evening as they walked barefoot on the beach.
‘It was unbearable, and I thought I would never recover,’ Calli told him. ‘But sometimes we surprise ourselves, don’t we? Perhaps we are all much stronger than we think.’
‘In my opinion, having someone you love who loves you back, and a family by your side, is all a person can want in life,’ Michalis replied. ‘Not everyone is lucky to have that . . . And then to throw it all away!’
They had been to one of the tavernas along the seafront with some friends when Michalis suggested that the two of them take a stroll on the beach. The night was balmy, the moon was full and the evening breeze warm on their skin. Calli felt that if at that moment Michalis took her in his arms and kissed her, she would have gladly kissed him back.