give him time to think about what she had said. Her mind worked overtime trying to find excuses. To be fair, she finally told herself, he might even have a point: they had always been in agreement about babies. What she needed to do was to step back and let things be, and who knew? Maybe he was right. Perhaps the two of them weren’t cut out for parenthood.
2
She didn’t slip up on purpose; or if she did, the slip was surely subconscious.
They had spent the evening at a wonderful party after an awards ceremony. Calli was nominated for photojournalist of the year and although she hadn’t won, she was highly commended for her work for the Sunday magazine, so celebrations were in order. They did have a glass or two or three too many – she could never resist when champagne was on offer and since they weren’t driving home that night they both indulged. They danced and drank and laughed and it felt like old times.
Over the past few months since their uncomfortable conversation they had both been on their guard, and although they never broached the subject again, Calli felt that while it was left hovering in the ether James might have a change of heart. They continued as before, following the way of life they enjoyed, plus a few more visits to their friends with babies and children, instigated by Calli, sometimes joining them for walks on Hampstead Heath with prams and dogs and toddlers.
Sex had never been a problem between them, indeed it was an important element in their relationship – you could say it was the glue that kept them together. However, since the night of the discussion something shifted in their lovemaking. James was almost hesitant if Calli initiated sex, wary of her motives, and Calli’s sexual appetite was likewise affected. But that night, the elation of her success, the flattering attention from her colleagues and their consumption of champagne had heightened their desire and finally in the back of the black cab on the way home they both let down their guard.
‘Oh baby, that’s what I love about you,’ James breathed into her ear, ‘you are such a minx!’
‘Wait till I get you home,’ she said, feeling like her old playful self again.
She had been oblivious, had thought nothing of that evening until she missed her period, which always arrived like clockwork. She hadn’t been taking the pill for a couple of years – her gynaecologist advised her to take a break from the regime – so they had been using the rhythm method and condoms. The two together worked well and they never had problems or mishaps with the arrangement – not until now, that is.
‘Maybe you’re pregnant,’ her mother told Calli when she mentioned her concern about a possible medical problem. ‘Have you considered that?’ Eleni asked, wondering why her daughter didn’t think of the most obvious reason for a missed period.
‘Well, no, Mum!’ Calli replied. ‘Because we take precautions for that and it has never failed before.’
‘In my experience there is always a first time for everything,’ Eleni replied.
The confirmation that she was indeed pregnant filled Calli with a jumble of emotions and concerns. Would she cope? Would she be a good enough mother? How would James react and what sort of a father would he make? But her initial and strongest response was one of absolute elation. ‘YES!’ she shouted, punching the air with her fist as she sat on the loo with the test kit and a huge smile across her face. ‘My eggs are healthy and well and haven’t gone to seed!’ she rejoiced. So much for her Greek aunt, whose words had haunted her for nearly ten years. Calli disposed of the kit, pulled herself together and walked into the living room in search of her mobile to call her mother. James, she decided, needed to hear the news in person, not over the phone. With that thought Calli took a deep breath and told herself that surely this time James would come round to her news. This was different. Planning to have a baby, trying to make a conscious decision to start a family, was harder to accept but now that it was a done deed it was out of their hands. The decision was made for them and they would cope.
This time she didn’t prepare James’s favourite dessert or cook dinner for him. Instead she met him in town at their favourite restaurant,