One Snowy Night (Sweet Home, Alaska #1) - Patience Griffin Page 0,57
brother Beau hadn’t been so close.”
“Beau?” Ella said, surprised.
“Yeah, Beau,” Hope said, watching as Ella clicked the pieces into place.
“Okay. Now I get the Beau thing.”
Hope had given her daughter the middle name Beau. Isabella Beau McKnight. Which wasn’t common knowledge around Sweet Home. If they did know, they would only think it was because Beau died in the car along with Izzie that snowy night.
Ella continued on. “But if Donovan was your best friend, does that mean that you talked to him like I talk to Lacy? Like, about everything? That seems crazy.”
“Oh, yes. We were always together. We played all the time. Ran in the woods and fished in the river behind the lodge.” It all came back to Hope, their magical childhood. She wondered if Donovan remembered it as she did. Running wild and exploring the world. “Although it all changed when we hit high school,” Hope said quietly.
“How did it change?” Ella asked. “Is that when he turned into a jackass?” She looked as if she had firsthand knowledge of how boys could do that.
“Hormones,” Hope said truthfully. “Girls. Donovan was very popular. Star quarterback. Good looks.”
“So the jerk started ignoring you?” Ella asked.
“First of all, Donovan isn’t a jerk. And no, he didn’t ignore me,” Hope said. “He just continued to treat me like his pal and tell me about his exploits.”
“Like I said—a jerk!”
“In his defense, Ella, he had no idea I cared for him in that way. Then . . .”
“Then what? Did you finally tell him that you loved him?”
“He woke up when I told him I didn’t want to hear about his dates anymore. That I would no longer give him advice,” Hope said. And he certainly didn’t like it when she’d finally accepted Jesse Montana’s invitation to go out with him.
“But how did . . . I happen?” Ella asked with a grimace.
“You were not a one-night stand, sweetheart, if that’s what you were thinking. I admit, you weren’t planned, but your dad and I were going steady by then. We had plans for a future together. College. Marriage. Kids. The whole nine yards.”
Ella stood, her face turning red and angry, her hands curled into fists. “Did he leave you when he found out you were pregnant with me?”
“Calm down. You were at the lodge—you saw that Donovan had no idea he had a child.”
“Then what happened? Why didn’t you tell him about me?” Ella asked, her voice pitched higher than before.
Hope wrapped her hand around Ella’s hand and stood, too. “Izzie wasn’t the only one who was in the car with me that night, when I . . . when I’d been drinking.”
“Who else was with you?”
Hope’s stomach lurched. “Donovan and his brother Beau.”
“So what does that have to do with him not knowing about me?” Ella asked.
“Beau died in the accident along with Izzie.”
“His brother?” Ella looked stunned.
“Yes. I killed Donovan’s brother.” Hope wrapped Ella in a hug. “Donovan was very, very angry. He left Sweet Home and never returned.” Until now.
“But you loved him.” Ella began to cry.
“Yes, and I’m sure Donovan loved me.” This next part would be the hardest, being truthful about something that hurt so much. “But, Ella, sometimes love just isn’t enough.”
“Mom, I’m sorry I ruined your life!” Ella sobbed into her shoulder.
“Hush, sweetheart. You did not ruin my life.” Hope’s vision became blurry with tears. “I’ve been lucky. So lucky. Because I’ve had you all these years.” She suddenly realized the depth of what she’d done to Donovan by not telling him the truth. He’d missed out on the most precious thing in life . . . his daughter. “I love you, Ella.”
“I love you, too.”
Hope stroked her daughter’s hair. “Now that you know everything, will you give your dad a chance?”
“Mom, I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Hope wanted to say more. Wanted to ask if Ella finally understood why she had to stop drinking, because alcohol ruined lives, irreversibly. But Hope didn’t want to chance pushing Ella away. The last eight days had been hell. She had to hold on to this moment, hold on to her daughter for just a little bit longer.
* * *
• • •
DONOVAN TRIED TO settle in for the night but he felt jumpy. He never should’ve agreed to have Hope work at the lodge. The scent of her damned flowery shampoo was everywhere. Finally, he put on his coat, picked up Boomer, and grabbed his keys from the counter before heading for the door.