One More Time - Ali Parker Page 0,59

decided that since she was talking, she may as well say her piece. “I never wanted anything but a quiet future. You guys had the big dreams, but they were never mine.”

“That’s why you cheated on me? Different ideologies?” The words were out before I’d even had time to consider whether I should’ve asked the question or not, but now that I had, I wouldn’t have taken it back even if I could.

The question had been plaguing me for years. If she could speak openly, so could I. She flinched a little at my tone but then visibly rallied and shook her head sadly. “No. It wasn’t because we wanted different things. Not entirely. Ultimately, I wanted to make sure that we had a clean and severe break. I didn’t want to be tempted to follow you to L.A., and I didn’t want you coming back for me, or leaving Destitute out of guilt or some misplaced sense of loyalty toward me.”

“It wouldn’t have been misplaced, Elizabeth. We were engaged. My loyalty was supposed to lie with you.” My tone was clipped, and my frustration was almost palpable in the air between us.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she took in what I was saying and my reaction to her explanation even so many years later. “It would’ve been misplaced. We weren’t good together toward the end. Surely, you saw that. I wanted the quiet life, a dog and a white picket fence, two point four kids. You wanted… the world. And you deserved it. You always were talented.”

“Of course I realized we had problems, but I was willing to fight for us, to work through our problems.” I was quickly losing control of the volume of my voice, but I didn’t care anymore. I’d waited long enough for these answers.

“That’s exactly why I had to do it, Caleb. Don’t you see? We wouldn’t have let each other go otherwise. One or the other of us would’ve gone back on what we wanted. All I did was make sure that neither of us could. It hurt me to do it. You don’t have to believe me, but it did.”

“I’m sure.” My reply dripped with sarcasm, but I wasn’t buying the shit she was selling. Even if it had hurt her, it’d still been her choice to fuck one of my best friends to ensure a “clean and severe break”. Fuck that.

“It did, Caleb. I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, just not the life you wanted for us. For you. I want babies. You’ve always known that. Babies with a solid and stable home to come back to and a daddy to put them to bed at night.”

“I have a house,” I bit out, taunting. I knew exactly what she meant. I just didn’t want to.

Elizabeth’s hands flew to her hips, and she squared her shoulders. “Exactly. You have a house, but I’m sure it’s not a home. How many months is this tour this time? Can you imagine what it would be like to have a child with a touring rock star? Because I can’t. I’d be having babies to raise them as a single mom. I didn’t want to sign up for that.”

“You would’ve been raising them in one hell of a house, into one hell of a life,” I retorted, though even I had to admit that the picture she painted was kind of bleak.

“I don’t think a hell of life is something that’s quite fit for a baby. I used to love you, Caleb. While I’m happy for you and your success, I also pity you a little now. Is anything in your life real anymore?”

“Yes,” I replied immediately, thinking first of my band. Jared and the guys were real. They were always there, annoying as fuck sometimes, but the constant reminder that we were all just people after all. They kept me grounded and reminded me to pull my head out of my ass from time to time.

Like Elizabeth was reading my mind, she said, “Not Destitute. Anything else?”

I wanted to tell her how real my money was, how real the girls were that threw themselves at me every night. But that just wasn’t me. Besides, there was something else now. “I’m with someone now. Someone real. It’s not just a one-night stand.”

She smiled sadly, almost ruefully. “I wish I could say something different to you, but I can’t. It’ll end eventually. You know that, right? All women