Her arms around his neck captured him, torturing him with an urgency that was mutual. Reaching up to take her hands he entwined his fingers with hers and then moved them behind her back so he could kiss her neck, trail his mouth down to the swell of her breasts.
Her heart was pounding, her breath came in short gasps of arousal. He felt his own arousal pressing against the softness of her and knew he was a moment away from taking her.
No, it was more than that. He was a breath away from making love to her and never letting her go, of waltzing with her for the rest of his life, the rest of her life.
The rest of her life? She deserved better. That his brain was still working was a miracle, and he did not ignore the gift. He lifted his head, putting some very small distance between them. Beatrice still had her eyes closed. She waited, her flushed cheeks and breathlessness making him feel like a cad for leaving her in such a state. But he needed to—for her own sake.
“We stop here, Beatrice.”
When she opened her eyes, he saw confusion. “What?”
He wanted to explain that this was all they could share. That a marriage between someone with his reputation and someone with her background would guarantee the ton’s rejection. She would say she didn’t care, but it would never work. He’d thought all week about ways to make her avoid him. Make her hate him. He knew how, and now was the time.
It might be the hardest thing he would ever have to do.
“You are too easy, Beatrice. I could have had you any time these last few days. But sex with a girl like you is much too complicated. A kiss in the dark is the only proof I needed. You would have let me take whatever I wanted, wouldn’t you? I’m not falling into that trap, my dear. I have been at this game for far too long.”
As his words sank in, her face took on that mottled cast that meant anger. Good. Good, that was what he wanted, even if it made him feel sick.
She pushed him away, straightened her clothes, and felt for her hair, now a mess better suited to the bedroom than the ballroom. Then she slapped him with a strength he had not anticipated.
It barely stung his cheek but it crushed his heart.
With some presence of mind, she avoided the company by crossing the twilit room to a communicating door and disappearing into the next room.
Jess watched her. Beatrice did not look back. She was long gone before he’d regained his sanity and walked back to the ball.
BEATRICE REACHED HER bedchamber just in time. She could not hold the tears back any longer and crashed through the sitting room door, slamming it behind her. Bent double with sobs, she staggered into the bedchamber, slamming that door as well. She held on to one of the bedposts, trying desperately to control herself.
“Miss Beatrice!”
For the love of God, Darwell was here. Why could she not be off with Callan? Beatrice knew she could barely form a coherent sentence and Darwell would want to know why she was upset.
“Miss, let me undo your dress and stays or you will faint.”
Beatrice began to move to the dressing room but Darwell stopped her. “Stay here, miss, and turn around.”
She obeyed. All she wanted to do was climb into bed and pull the covers over her head. It was too much to hope she would be asleep before Cecilia came to bed.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
Beatrice shook her head, but tried. “Lord Jess and I had an argument.” Beatrice stopped. She didn’t have the energy to tell the whole story. “Really, Darwell, it was all my fault. Jess made that perfectly clear. Now I just want to go to bed.”
Darwell made soothing sounds, asking no more questions. She did insist on brushing the snarls out of Beatrice’s hair, putting it into a quick braid, before letting Beatrice slide under the covers. Beatrice heard doors opening and closing and a few minutes later Darwell brought a cool cloth for her eyes.
“Go to sleep, Miss Beatrice. It will all be better by the light of day.”
If only that were true, Beatrice thought. The cool cloth did help calm her, but she still wished she could curl into the tiniest ball and disappear. It would be so much better than ever having to see Jess Pennistan