a snowman with Tab? I feel pleased. Relieved. I was as worried about this Christmas gathering as you. I don’t understand why you’re not relieved, too. What did you want, Ella? Did you want her to ignore Tab?”
“No, and I am relieved that she seems to be making an effort. But I also feel a little weird about it.” She was going to have to be the one to say it. “She never did that with us.”
“But she’s taken Tab outside to play with her. That’s massive.”
“Yes, and it hurts because she is out there playing with my daughter, trying to make her happy, and that is something she never did with us.”
Samantha stood up and hugged Ella. “I understand why you’re upset.”
“Do you? And are you not upset?” Ella extracted herself. Why was it that her sister could comfort her, but not admit her own feelings?
“It’s different. I’m not Tab’s mom.”
Ella gave up. “I’m going outside to join them. Do you want to come with me?”
“This is a professional visit for me. I need to explore the estate, talk to Brodie about the types of activities we can offer, work up some plans and numbers. I’m going to take photographs, investigate transport options. I also promised to explore with him other ways that he could monetize the estate.”
Ella looked at her sister properly for the first time and realized how groomed and professional she looked even in warm, practical clothing. “Is that sweater new? You look amazing. How long have you been awake?”
“A few hours. I was working. I had some preparation to do for today.”
Ella was about to ask her sister if she was looking forward to spending the day with Brodie when Michael emerged from the bathroom.
“Am I the only one around here who is starving?” He picked up his watch from the nightstand. “I’m willing to test the full Scottish breakfast for you, Samantha. I will give you my considered opinion on every element.”
Samantha smiled at him. “Your sacrifice is duly noted.”
“Always willing to take one for the team. Are you coming for something to eat, Ella?”
“Later.” Ella pulled on extra layers and found her coat. She felt isolated. No one, not even her sister, seemed to understand the way she was feeling. “I want to check on my daughter.”
“Our daughter.” Michael’s tone was mild. “She’s our daughter.”
“True. But she’s with my mother. She’s probably telling Tab never to get married, or to make sure she only ever takes a well-paid job. Or maybe Tab has fallen over and she’s telling her to pick herself up.”
Samantha exchanged a look with Michael. “You need to relax, Ella, or this Christmas gathering is never going to work. You can’t hover over Mom, watching her every move.”
Nothing stung quite as sharply as criticism from someone you saw as an ally. “How can you say that? You know what she’s like. Just look at the impact she’s had on you.”
Samantha’s mouth tightened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s our mother’s constant dire warnings that are responsible for the fact that you’re single and focused on work. You’re terrified of feelings, which is why instead of experiencing wild abandoned passion, you spend your nights reading about wild abandoned passion. Which, now I think of it, could be the very definition of safe sex. It’s certainly safer than opening up and trusting someone.” She saw the wounded expression in her sister’s eyes and tried to backpedal. “All I’m saying is that our upbringing had a powerful effect on us. I’m afraid to tell our mother the truth about my life, and you don’t form intimate relationships because Mom told us never to build our lives around a man.”
Samantha stood in frozen stillness. “Are you finished?”
“I just think—”
“And I think you should stop talking now.”
Ella swallowed. “You’re acting as if this is all normal, but before this we hadn’t spoken to our mother for five years. So forgive me if this whole thing is a bit sensitive. We’re pretending we’re a normal family, and we are not a normal family.”
“I’m going to see if I can find the McIntyres and some breakfast and if I can’t, I’ll retire to my room with my romantic fantasies.” Samantha left the room and Ella stared after her miserably.
“Now I’ve upset her.” And she felt terrible. She and Samantha never fought. Her sister was her comfort blanket, and she knew Samantha felt the same way about her.
“She’ll be fine.” Michael picked up his phone. “Your relationship will survive