“Is this going to be a whole new thing? Insinuation and sly winks? Because it will earn you a snowball down your neck.”
“It might be a new thing. Too early to say.” She finished her breakfast and pushed her plate away. “Depends on how much fun it is.”
“For me, it’s no fun at all.”
“But it’s doing my romantic heart good.”
“You have a romantic heart? I didn’t know that. Promise me you’re not going to embarrass me on Christmas Day.”
Enjoying herself, Kirstie thought about it. “Can’t promise that.” She saw her mother smile. “What’s funny?”
“The two of you bickering, the way you always used to. It does my heart good.”
“Seeing us fight does your heart good?”
“Yes, because it’s normal. It’s how it should be. I’ve missed it.”
Sister-brother banter, the type they’d always had until grief and the pressures of life had smothered it.
“So that’s confirmed, then. This is a whole new thing, because it makes Mum feel good.”
Brodie gave a resigned laugh. “Happy to take one for the team, but please don’t let Samantha hear you.”
Mary stood up and headed back to the stove. “While we’re talking about it, you should know that I like her, too.”
“Were we talking about it? I thought it was a Kirstie monologue. But if we are talking about it, perhaps this is a good time to point out she lives in Boston. Also, she’s just come out of a relationship.”
Kirstie beamed. “Which leaves her free for another relationship.”
“And you love Boston.” Mary opened the oven and pulled out a tray of cinnamon cookies. “You’ve always loved Boston.”
“Not that we want you to move there,” Kirstie said quickly, “just pointing out that you can visit.”
“Good to know I have your permission.”
She felt a lightness that she hadn’t felt in a long time. And a glimpse of a future that might hold change of the good kind. Change that wasn’t shadowed by darkness.
She reached for Brave New You, flipped it over and read the back cover.
Maybe she’d try just one chapter. Where was the harm in that?
Samantha
She waited in her room, jumpy and on edge, keeping her phone on long after everyone else in the house had fallen asleep. She kept glancing at it, but the screen didn’t light up.
Would he come? Should she have said something to indicate she wanted him to? But when? They’d been surrounded by people all day, cooking, planning, playing games.
Once or twice she’d caught his eye and he’d smiled, but she, who was so bad at relationships, didn’t know what the smile meant. She didn’t know what any of it meant.
And it wasn’t as if she was completely without experience. She’d dated other men. She’d dated Kyle for a whole year and hadn’t once felt like this. Not even at the beginning when it was supposed to be exciting. Not once had she felt a fraction of the things she felt when she was with Brodie.
She flopped back on the bed, carefully reliving every exciting moment because it seemed she might never get to experience it again. For the first time in her life she’d let herself go, held nothing back. She’d given him access to all that she felt, and all that she was. Inner Samantha. At the time she’d thought he’d done the same, but maybe she’d been wrong about that?
The questions fought each other in her head until eventually, exhausted, she fell asleep.
When she woke it was Christmas Eve and she was still alone in the bed. There had been no tap on the door in the darkness. No reprise of what had happened in the cottage by the loch.
She rubbed her eyes and looked out the window.
The storm had cleared, leaving fresh snow and blue skies, and she had to get up and get on with her life. And she had to do it without showing any of the emotions swirling around inside her.
Which she would, because this was what she did.
The day passed in a noisy, busy, joyful flash of snowman building, sleigh rides and present wrapping.
Tab’s excitement levels shot through the stratosphere, thanks partly to the impending prospect of Santa’s visit, and also to the steady volume of sugary treats that Mary kept producing in the kitchen. Ella, Michael and Gayle kept Tab busy, with Kirstie doing her bit with the reindeer.
There had been no sign of Brodie all day.
Kirstie had mentioned that he’d driven into the village for something and was now working in the