We get back to my place, and I get out of Hunter’s SUV and go inside. Even though Hunter just told me that Connor isn’t here, a small part of me still hoped to see him sitting on the couch waiting for me.
But it’s only Nut and Juice. Their ears perk up at the door opening, and when they see me, they go wild. Nut leaps from the couch, running to greet me, and Juice does laps on the couch, back and forth while barking like mad.
“Hello, babies,” I greet them, not letting them know how messed up I am right now. They’ve had enough bad days. I can at least give them a reasonable return to normality. “Yes, Mama missed you too. Are you okay?”
I pet their soft fur, feeling their round bellies, and know that Connor took good care of them in my absence. He fed them, he took them out . . . smelling Juice, I think he even bathed them.
A wave of sadness washes through me. I miss him.
I sit at my dining room table, wanting a change of scenery as I work. My ass went numb hours ago as I try to power through the last bit of my book, but I can’t stop. I won’t stop. This book and my deadline are the only things keeping me functional right now, which I know is dysfunctional as fuck.
I’m drinking Red Bull from Connor’s ‘seven ways to kill you’ mug instead of the can, purely for the comfort of having his things nearby. I found it in the sink when I came home a few days ago and have been using it ever since. I hope it’s a sign from him that he’ll be back and not a token for me to remember him by.
I haven’t heard from him, though. Hunter isn’t responding to my messages either, and I feel like maybe it was all a con to wash their hands of me.
I read back over the last page of what I’ve written, making tweaks as I go. It’s good, but it needs to be great. After everything I’ve been through to get this book to fruition, it needs to be the best thing I’ve ever written, which means I need help.
I open a new tab and text the group chat for the W3AS gang, asking them if they can meet at the library for a sprint session and hype huddle.
Everyone replies in the affirmative, with Becca even promising donut hole rewards since that worked so well last time to motivate me. They’re the best friends I could possibly have, helping me on the fly even after I disappeared and went radio silent for the days in the hotel with Hunter.
I chug the rest of my Red Bull, making a sour face at the liquid that’s gone warm. I’m drinking too much of this shit. My kidneys have to be half pickled by now. After the book’s done, I’m going to need a detoxing or something.
But that’s a problem for Future Poppy. Right now, nothing matters but finishing Trouble in Great Falls. And Connor.
My hair is piled in a messy, days-dirty bun, I’m wearing clothes that I slept in, and deodorant that’s been applied in layers, so I take the quick ten minutes to shower. I want the girls to think I’m doing okay for once, even if it’s only a façade. I head to the library with my laptop in a bag. This one is a brand-new cross-body bag with an extra security strap that attaches around my waist. I’m not taking any chances.
And I’ve still got my flash drive in my pocket with my backups. No fucking around anymore.
I get to the library, and the girls are all here already, gathered and waiting for me. They go silent when I enter, making it obvious that they were talking about me while they waited. After a bit of fuss and a spritz of homemade essential oil body spray from Aleria that she swears is beneficial for mind clearing but makes me sneeze, we gather around the table and get our tech out.
“So, what happened?” Jasmine asks before I can type a single word. “You’ve been MIA for a few days. Working?” she prompts hopefully.
I rub my overly tired eyes, shaking my head. “So much has happened, I can’t even explain it all.”
Really, I can’t tell them anything, per Hunter’s orders. I can’t risk messing up their court case.