One and Done - S. Briones Lim Page 0,83

answer that. In all honesty—and you know this—I was afraid we didn’t know each other anymore. That you were just a figment of my memory, the picture hanging on my wall. But I was wrong. The moment I saw you I knew I had never once stopped loving you and I was going to try my hardest to finally win your heart…of course throwing fleshlights at your face probably wasn’t a good idea,” I added jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Now that you mentioned it, I was always wondering if you actually bought those for the occasion.”

“No, they’re from my own personal stash,” I replied with a straight face.

“What?”

I burst out laughing. “I’m kidding! Ew, do you really think I’m into all that? You’ve seen my apartment. No floggers and handcuffs there, right?”

I didn’t realize the innuendo in my words until I noticed Rocky’s cheeks reddening and caught myself wondering if any other part of her was flushed.

Whoa there, buddy.

Shaking it off, I gulped. “No, I got it from the Hard Shack. Have you ever been there? Good people. Really nice. Just told them I needed some merchandise for a business pitch.”

“Oh, God.”

“The box is still in the Dungeon if you ever need it.”

“Ugh, I’ve got to take that out of there before my parents find it.” She shook her head as if she were angry, but even she couldn’t hide the amusement on her face. That amusement was fleeting, though. Soon her smile faltered and a look of sadness washed over her. I grabbed hold of her hands just as she mumbled, “The beginning of the end.”

“What?” I grabbed her hands with a death grip, worried that reality was once again flooding around us.

“Is this why you asked me to meet you here? Is this the beginning of the end all over again?”

Was it? What was next for us?

I didn’t have an answer for any of those questions so I replied with what has got to be the stupidest thing of all. “We tried, Rocky.”

Her eyes darkened angrily. “Did we? Because it seems to me all we did was mess with each other’s minds, say we loved each other and…”

“Sleep together?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. How is that trying?” She sighed.

I glanced down at our interlocked fingers. Even in the cold night, everything seemed so warm and perfect with her. It seemed so simple. So why wasn’t it?

Feeling a surge of anger, I decided to give a big ‘fuck you’ to the universe. With a vice grip still around her, I pressed, “Let me ask you this, what do you want us to be?”

“I…I don’t know how to answer that.”

Nope, she was not getting out of this one. “Let me rephrase the question. Did you just want us to be a one-night fuck or something that means a lot more?” I let out a slight breath when she tore her hands away from mine.

“You know the answer to that,” she snapped accusingly.

“Well, the feeling’s mutual, Rocky.” I smiled at her softly and motioned between us. “I want this to work as much as you do, but how will that happen if we’re both not willing to budge? We’re both freaking stubborn. We always have been.”

A distant look filled her eyes, one of longing and sadness. Briefly shutting her eyes, she shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I don’t know what to do. How does any relationship happen? Honestly, I haven’t even been in one long enough to know how it all works.”

“What do you mean?” I asked glumly, thinking about Ethan.

“I’ve dated, yes. I’ve tried to make things work. Nobody ever lived up to the image I had of you, though. Even Ethan…” She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle. “Even from a young age I knew you were different. You made me feel things.”

“Horny?” I wagged my eyebrows up and down suggestively, laughing when she punched me in the shoulder.

“No! I mean, you made me feel like I was brave enough to do anything. You made me feel alive and passionate. I never had that excited feeling with anyone before. I felt…”

I squeezed her hand. “Like what?”

She swallowed visibly and looked up shyly. “That you complemented me well. Does that make sense?”

All at once my heart felt as if it awakened once more, its beat strengthened. “It does…”

“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you? That’s why you asked me here. To end things before they begin.”

Images of my packed bags flooded my brain. I would be leaving soon. It was