One and Done - S. Briones Lim Page 0,55

purely on impulse, I chased after her and replied, “C’mon, I always knew you sort of liked me. Surprised you waited so long.”

She paled. “I…I…uh…wait…what?”

“I’m not as dense as you always thought I was. I’m actually smarter than I look,” I said matter-of-factly.

“I never thought you were dense,” she snapped.

“Sure.”

The bad thing about winter is that though it is icy as hell outside, indoors was a different story. The combination of warm air along with the feeling of mild embarrassment and awkwardness made my skin feel as if it were on fire. To make matters worse, Rocky’s gaze practically burned a hole through my skin! I stripped off my jacket, fully aware that I was dripping in sweat.

Way to admit guilt there, asshole.

Rocky finally tore her gaze off of me and sneered, “Why are you acting so nonchalant about this?”

I blinked in surprise. “I’m not acting like anything. I’m being normal. Why are you acting so weird?”

“I’m mortified,” she admitted.

That makes two of us.

“Why?” I asked, not knowing how else to respond.

“I kissed you!” Her voice suddenly lowered, muffling the distinct pain dripping from her tone. “Then you walked away.”

Feeling guilty, I gulped, feeling as if my throat was lined with shards of glass. How was I going to walk out of this one?

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” Really sorry. “I guess I was just caught a bit off guard. It was wrong of me to walk away from you.” Did I mention I was sorry?

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” she whispered almost so quietly that I couldn’t hear.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. Her face contorted, making her appear as if she was deep in thought. She lifted her pale painted nails to her mouth and began nibbling at the edges. “You have to admit if things weren’t already weird between us before, I certainly expect them to be weirder this time around.”

“Things weren’t weird between us.” It was a blatant lie. We both knew it.

“Really? Not weird? You wouldn’t talk to me for the first two days you were here,” she argued.

Gripping my jacket tightly, I wrung the thick material between my hands in frustration. How could I go about apologizing to her? I was playing games and I knew it, but I just felt so lost—I didn’t know how to proceed with her! Every time I felt as if I could move forward, something reminded me that I needed to hold back. I was definitely running circles around Rocky, but there was no way I could explain to her—let alone myself—why my feelings were so confused.

Right, wrong, devil, angel. She was the yin to my yang and always had been. Unfortunately, this devil still felt as if he didn’t deserve the angel.

My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. “Okay, fine. I guess that’s a fair assumption.”

“I guess I’m not as dense as you thought,” she muttered. “So care to tell me why the icy patch between us? Honestly, I was wondering why we didn’t cover the topic when we had burgers, but I guess I was just happy we were hanging out and didn’t want to press it.”

There were so many reasons, but somehow I knew they’d all hurt her. Choosing a truth that was less painful, I answered, “I guess I was a little scared to see you again.”

“Why?” she asked in disbelief.

“Not comfortable telling you that.”

“Oh my gosh! Are we back to that again?” She jammed her fingers into her keyboard and then shook her head in amused exasperation. “Wait, what the hell am I doing? I already clocked in. Shit.”

Once again falling back on humor, I let out a strained laugh. “Guess I still can get your panties in a twist.”

Her answering glare was frightening.

Okay, maybe that was a bad idea. Clearing my throat, I calmed my tone. “Honestly, I’m proud that you kissed me. I always wondered if you had the guts.”

She paused. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“I could always tell you liked me a bit…” As soon as the words left my mouth, a lightbulb flicked off in my head. I knew exactly how to let her go. I didn’t want to, but I knew it was necessary to save both our sanities. My voice came out, sounding like a distant echo. “I just thought those feelings were misplaced.”

“Misplaced?”

That was when the word vomit started. Wait, it wasn’t even word vomit. It was flat out bullshit. Pungent, fly-infested bullshit.

“You were bored!” Just like that, the same mask I wore throughout high school