Once Upon a Temptingly Ruinous Kiss - Bree Wolf Page 0,102
he had simply done so because he had not wanted to give affront. Had he only done so in order to spare her feelings? Always had he been considerate of her, careful never to frighten her, never to step too close. Always had he looked out for her…as a friend would.
Weeks ago, Leonora would have been overjoyed to have a friend so loyal and devoted. Now, however, the thought that he saw her as nothing more than a friend brought misery to her heart.
“Are you all right?” Although his voice was dark and curt, Leonora still heard compassion, something soft and caring in the way he spoke.
Inhaling a deep breath, Leonora was careful to keep her eyes fixed upon her folded hands. “I’m fine.” There was so much more to say, and yet, not another word made it past her lips. She could not even bring herself to look at him after what she had done. It had been an impulse, and she had cherished it in the moment. Now, however, it seemed that it had opened up an insurmountable gap between them.
His jaw tightened at her short reply, an almost inaudible growl rising in his throat. Leonora did not dare steal more than a glance at him, unable to keep her gaze averted altogether. Where she had before never feared to look upon him, she now felt utterly frightened.
Not of him.
But of what she might see upon his face.
“Will you come see me tomorrow?” Drake asked into the silence as it stretched from one moment to the next. Tension lingered in his voice, and for a second, Leonora thought that perhaps he worried that tonight’s events would keep their paths from ever crossing again. Was it possible? Was he worried that they would not recover from this?
After all, it had only been a kiss.
One kiss.
Perhaps two.
Possibly three.
At most four.
Yet, it had been intoxicating and enchanting, almost magical. It had tempted her into wanting more and ruined her from ever being satisfied with less.
No matter what she had thought before, hoped before, Leonora now knew that she would never be able to marry Lord Gillingham. Even if Drake did not want her, she could not imagine being someone else’s wife.
“I’m afraid I can’t,” Leonora replied, utter certainty pulsing in her blood in that moment. No matter what, she needed to tell Lord Gillingham the truth. She needed to tell him that her heart would never be his, and that she would never agree to a marriage without affection, without love. He needed to know so that he would be able to move on.
So that she would not be tempted to accept him out of fear.
The fear to be alone for the rest of her life.
The fear to never have the family she wanted.
Indeed, as her father had said, fear was never a good reason to make a choice, and Leonora would make certain she never would.
“Why not?” Drake demanded, something dark in his voice as his eyes moved to her and lingered. She could all but feel them upon her face, touching her skin.
Clearing her throat, Leonora forced her gaze upward. She had never been afraid to meet his eyes, and she ought not start now. “If you must know,” she began, overwhelmed to hear a slight tremble in her voice, “Lord Gillingham invited me to go riding with him tomorrow afternoon.”
Drake’s lips thinned, his dark gaze fixed upon her. “And you agreed?”
Leonora could not help but be annoyed with his reaction and wished she had the courage to confront him outright. “Why ever would I not? He is a gentleman. His manners are—”
“Do you intend to accept his proposal?” Drake bit out, his hands gripping his knees tightly.
“That is not of your concern,” Leonora told him, willing a haughty look into her eyes. Never in her life had she spoken in such stark contrast to how she felt. “Whom I marry is my decision and no one else’s.”
As the carriage rumbled along, Drake stared at her, his eyes so dark and penetrating that Leonora did not even dare blink. “Is he the man you want?”
Leonora felt her nostrils flare. What right did he have to be angry with her? Was it because she had kissed him? “Lord Gillingham is a decent man. He—”
“Do you want him?” Drake interrupted, leaning forward.