Once Upon a Mail Order Bride - Linda Broday Page 0,41
think I’ll surely die when love does come.
A smile crossed her lips as she thought about lying next to him on the bed. If he’d noticed she’d been there, he hadn’t said anything. Yet…her faded ribbon had been lying there in plain view on the bench after she’d looked all over for it.
What would he do if she announced she wanted to sleep with him all the time? A rush of flutters spread through her and settled in her stomach. Yet she needed to purge herself of all the hurt, anguish, and despair in order to hopefully one day claim her rightful place. Dr. Mary was right. She had to start facing her past in order to reach for that bright future glimmering within sight. She turned to a new page of the notebook and continued.
I’ve come to realize that there are some people whose brains can’t be manipulated by others. I’m one of them. I always had this knowing deep inside, about how wrong Ezekiel’s and his follower’s beliefs were. No matter how long they held me captive to that life, I wouldn’t, couldn’t, accept any of it as the truth. My brain simply wouldn’t allow me. I suspect my mother can’t buy into their thinking either, although she pretends well. Still, she’ll never get a chance to break free. She’s not strong enough. My father has her too beaten down. There may be some hope for my younger sisters if I can get to them in time. But failure would mean the public whipping post that Ezekiel is so fond of using.
A shudder rippled through her body. Addie sat there a moment before turning the page to write more. Now that she’d started, all the words she’d held inside for so long spilled out almost faster than she could get them down.
My father, Ezekiel Jancy, calls himself the New Messiah and heads up a religious order of his own in the town of New Zion, in the rolling hills of central Texas. He became so obsessed with having a son to carry on his work that he turned into a monster and destroyed a young girl’s promising life. I had to do something to stop him, and it cost me dearly.
Memories so thick she could taste them almost choked her. Her hand shook, and she laid down the pencil, unable to go on. After a few moments, she tore out the last two pages and set them aside until morning. But she left her musings about love in the notebook. No one would ever see those. She put everything away and curled up on the bench under her quilt. But sleep refused to come, her mind dwelling on the sweetness of Ridge’s lips on hers. The promise of more beat in her heart like a drum.
She was Ridge Steele’s wife, and she wanted to stay where she was safe—in his arms.
* * *
The next morning, Ridge woke before dawn. Disappointment flared to find no evidence that Addie had come to their bed. He dressed and went out to milk the cow and feed the horses. He’d no sooner started his chores than the kitchen door opened and Addie joined him in the yard to gather the eggs. To anyone who saw them, he and Addie would look like a normal couple.
One step forward and two back. He’d have to learn to rejoice in the small steps and take heart in the backward progress, even if it killed him.
The sky lightened to a nice shade of apricot as the sun readied itself to make an appearance. He loved this time of day and the mysteries it held. He never knew what events would unfold before nightfall. The air was crisp, the fragrant scent of sage whispering against his skin.
Ridge let his gaze sweep over his and Addie’s property. The kitchen opened into a sizeable back area, the barn sitting about a hundred yards to the right. A small corral hugged the front of the barn where he let the horses exercise. He was proud of what he’d already built.
Just then, the sun broke low on the horizon, the morning rays bouncing off the red rock of the canyon and flashing along its walls like pure gold. His chest tightened with the beauty.
Addie stepped from the chicken coop with her basket and into the golden light. The sight stole his breath. Real peace softened her features, and he liked to think she looked happy. Maybe caring for the chickens and