Hayley cocked her head. “An-nd yet all through college—”
“I know.”
“So where were they, really? Or…she? Your mother?”
“South Carolina. Just outside Charleston. Number 37 Breezy Meadow Trailer Park. Back row, fourth trailer on the left.” The words started filtering out.
Hayley sat down hard. “What?”
“Yeah.” Jess blew out a breath. Next would come Hayley’s realization that she’d been lied to since—well, since the day they’d met.
“Why didn’t you ever tell us?”
“I just couldn’t, Hayls. It was too—complicated.”
Hayley shook her head. “None of this makes sense. Did you really think any of us would have cared? Wait. Where did you go at Thanksgiving? Christmas? Kyla and I were always jealous that you were headed somewhere exotic to meet your parents.”
Jess shook her head. “I stayed in the dorm, usually.”
“But—but they locked the dorms over the holidays.”
“I was creative. And resourceful. And really good at hiding.”
“Jess!”
“I’m sorry, Hayley. It’s true. I’m not lying this time.”
“So those pics of Tahiti you showed us?”
“Google. Printed them in the library.”
“And that blue-footed whatever-it-was from the Galápagos Islands?”
“Google.”
Hayley nodded. “So I’m assuming that view from the Eiffel Tower—Google?”
“The only tower I’ve ever been up is the fire tower outside the town I grew up in.” Jess sighed. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“What about the horses?” Hayley tipped her head. “You were always at the barn at school, working with your horses.”
Jess shook her head. “Not mine. It was a work-study job.”
“Wow.” Hayley sat back. “Why did you lie—I’m just—floored.” Her words muddled together in hurt confusion. “Why didn’t you ever ask to come home with Kyla or me for the holidays?”
“If I had done that, you would have expected me to return the favor, and there was no way I was inviting anyone back to where I grew up, okay?”
“So you grew up in a trailer park. Who cares? Do you really think we would have thought differently of you if we’d known where you came from?”
“It’s not about the trailer park, Hayley.”
“Then what? What is it about?”
“Let’s just say my family isn’t made up of the nicest people. Not the kind of folks you bring a friend home to meet.”
Hayley rubbed her forehead, eyebrows scrunched together. “I don’t get it. I really don’t. And I’m trying really hard here not to be pissed that you ever thought it would matter. Why did you tell so many lies, Jess? What did you really think would happen if you just told the truth? Why couldn’t you be honest with us?”
Jess felt tears gather behind her eyes. She’d buried the memories so deeply that she didn’t want to give voice to them. Didn’t want to let them bubble back to the surface and send her back down the black hole that had been her life.
But they were right here, biting and clawing and churning in her throat.
“Honesty wasn’t an option, Hayley. Trust me on that.”
“Why the hell not? This doesn’t make any sense.” Jess saw color rising in Hayley’s cheeks. “Why were you so afraid of the truth?”
“Because.” Jess practically spit the word out between clenched teeth. She took a shaky breath. Then, hardly believing she was doing it, she fingered the hem of her shirt.
“Because this is my truth, Hayley.”
Slowly, she lifted her shirt, exposing her abdomen.
Chapter 19
Hayley’s sharp intake of breath made Jess flinch, made her look down at the sight she tried to ignore every time she showered, every time she changed her clothes.
“Jess?” Hayley’s voice was a whisper. “Who did this?”
—
“Hold her arms, Luanne. Miss smartymouth needs a lesson.” Roxie lit a cigarette, and Star found her eyes immediately mesmerized by the glowing tip. She tried to rip her eyes away from it, but she swore she could hear it burning, could hear the quiet sizzle.
“What’d she do this time?” Luanne caught Star as she tried to duck under her arm and head across the tiny excuse for a living room toward the door.
“Little too big for her britches. Again.” Roxie puffed on her Marlboro. “She’s ten going on sixteen tonight. You got her?”
Star struggled as Luanne pinned her arms behind her. She tried to kick, but Luanne just laughed that gravelly laugh. “Sorry, baby. No can do. Your mama’s got something to say.”
Roxie advanced on her, cigarette glowing. “You gonna talk back to me again, Star?”
“No.” Probably. Star tried to stand up to her full height, tried not to act scared. Tried to calculate how long it’d be before she outweighed Luanne and could escape the both