I think it’s high time you found out if the feeling’s mutual, don’t you?”
No. Yes. “No.”
“Isn’t the wondering killing you?”
Yes. God, yes. “No. I don’t want to rock the boat. Don’t want it to be awkward.”
“You mean if she’s not interested? And then you’d have that whole I-told-you-I-liked-you-but-you-don’t-like-me-back thing going on?”
“Yes.” Cole rolled his eyes. “Because we’re in seventh grade again.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. It’s more that I don’t want to pretend I want something that I don’t. I’m not in it for the long haul here, and Jess is too nice a woman to mess around with if I’m not interested in more than a casual relationship.”
“Because you’re a rolling stone and all that?”
“Something like that.” Cole rolled his eyes.
Daniel turned toward him, narrowing his eyes. “What’s up with you? Something going on?”
“Nah. Not really. Maybe. I don’t know.”
“It’s me who’s supposed to have the wedding jitters, you know. Not the best man.”
Cole laughed. “I don’t think it’s wedding jitters. I think maybe it’s just—I don’t know—wondering what coulda been, you know? If I hadn’t had to stay.”
“Ah.” Daniel nodded. “You ever think about how things might have been different if you’d gotten into Stanford?”
Cole stared at his beer bottle, spinning it slowly. “I did get into Stanford.”
Daniel twisted toward him. “What? How didn’t I know that?”
“I never told anybody. That’s how.”
“Shit.” Daniel took a slug of his beer. “Are you serious? I thought after your dad died—that you just didn’t apply, you know, since you were—here.”
Cole shrugged. “I knew I couldn’t go, but I just had to know if I could have. It was a stupid waste of fifty bucks, but I had to know.”
“Do you ever regret it? Not going?”
“Course I do. I could have been Doctor Driscoll by now, right?”
Daniel laughed. “That’s frightening, I don’t mind saying.”
“Thanks.”
“Ever resent Decker for getting the chance?”
“No.” Cole shook his head. “Not the way he had to go.”
“I know, but you know what I mean. Maybe he didn’t choose to leave, but at least he got the opportunity to see what else was out there. You kind of—didn’t.”
“There’s no kind of about it.” Cole took a drink, set it down slowly. “But I’m not dead yet, right? I could still take off and see the world.” He rolled his eyes like he found the idea ludicrous, because he knew that’s what people expected.
“You tempted to?”
“To leave? I don’t know. Maybe? Once Decker came back, it seemed like maybe I actually could, you know? Leave him to do the ranch thing instead of me. I don’t know.”
“Wow. I had no idea.”
Cole shrugged. “I don’t exactly advertise it.”
“This why you haven’t had a serious girlfriend—like—in forever? You’ve got one proverbial foot out the door?”
“Well, that—and the fact that most of the girlfriend candidates out here are like—her.” He tipped his chin toward Marcy. “I don’t know, Danny. I just can’t get this feeling out of my gut that maybe there’s something else out there.”
Daniel took another drink, thoughtful. “Maybe it’s me, but I’ve always thought you lived and breathed that ranch, and not because you had to.”
“I did. I do. But Whisper Creek isn’t what it used to be. I miss the days when it was just us and the horses. I even miss the damn cows, because it was simpler then. Fewer humans in the mix. Now the damn place looks like a ranch version of a spa, and that is something I thought I’d never see.”
“Maybe you just need to step back a little and find the parts of it you still love. Thought of that?”
“No, Doctor Phil. Haven’t thought of that. No frigging time to think of that, with all the work we’ve got. I love Kyla like my own sister, but if that woman comes up with one more idea, I might have to lock up her damn notebook and pens.”
“Might help if Decker wasn’t so busy with the development.”
“It would definitely help. Kind of hard for me to think about leaving when he can barely step foot out on the trail without getting a phone call.”
Daniel shook his head. “I don’t know, Cole. Hard to imagine Whisper Creek without you in the equation. And maybe I’m wrong, but I think your roots are firmly planted here, whether you believe it or not right now. I cannot see you walking around some sidewalk in some city, or living in a cookie-cutter suburban development somewhere in Ohio. Sorry. Does not compute.”