go made her gut twist...as did the memory of how excited the horse had been to charge after that calf. That was what he’d been bred to do and he loved it. As did the guy who’d been riding him.
Beckett belonged to Matt. He really did.
I can’t let him go.
She wanted very much to say the words out loud, but instead she smiled at Matt. “I’d send the sheriff after you if you did.”
Matt took a step closer, sending her senses into high alert. “It’d work better if you...came yourself.”
Liv’s pulse jumped and she leaned toward him, maybe just so she could draw his scent into her lungs, maybe just because he did crazy things to her hormones.
“Any chance you could stop by later tonight?” Matt asked.
Liv’s heart stuttered even as she calmly met his eyes. “With or without my horse?”
“It’s not roping I’m interested in.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
He kissed her, right there, in front of anyone who cared to see. And Liv didn’t step back. She met his kiss, answered with one of her own. Quicker and less lingering than his, but a kiss all the same.
So now she was kissing him in public, but calling him a friend. There was something off about that, just as Matt had said. Something that she was going to have to think about.
And think she did—not that it got her anywhere.
She enjoyed being with Matt, enjoyed being in his bed. Enjoyed everything about her time with him except for the gnawing fear that she would get herself in over her head and lose control. She was so damned afraid of losing control...every relationship in her life, except for maybe that with her mother, had consisted of Liv eventually giving in to keep a peaceful status quo. No, she even did that with her mother—just look at the things she did to keep Shae happy—but she did those out of love and understanding. To keep her fragile mother happy...
But was that so different from what she was afraid of doing with Matt?
As long as they continued as they were, she told herself over and over again, she was safe. She wasn’t going to lose herself. And in those moments when she found the old Liv wishing that she could have more of a committed relationship with Matt, the new Liv sternly reminded the old Liv of just what her life had been like in every other committed relationship she’d ever had.
Which made it all the more difficult, and threatening, when she sometimes wondered if she were actually falling for Matt.
Even if she did...well...she wouldn’t.
But what if...
Damn, but Matt Montoya scared her.
She laid a hand on Beckett’s neck. “You brought us together, big guy. Now...would you mind telling me what to do?”
* * *
MOST OF MATT’S days were spent practicing. He roped, he tied, he threw. His knee was getting stronger, not weaker, as all the naysayers had predicted. He and Snigs were developing their rhythm and overall he felt confident about his comeback.
And when Liv was with him, his world felt complete, as sappy as that seemed. But it was true and Matt thought that maybe she was feeling the same. They didn’t talk about limitations and rules and parameters anymore—or at least they hadn’t during the past three weeks. Liv came over as often as she could and they’d spend the evenings horseback riding or cooking or sometimes playing one of the video games Craig had left that they were both really bad at. A couple of times she’d brought Beckett by on her way home from practice and had let him ride his old buddy. It gnawed at him to do so, but he knew she thought she was doing him a favor.
In some ways the past weeks had been the most peaceful and fulfilling in Matt’s life. And in others the most frustrating—because he didn’t know where he stood with Liv. Didn’t know if things were only shifting on his side. What really bothered him was that he was afraid to bring up the topic, afraid of upsetting the balance. And because of that he was getting antsy.
He wanted reassurance that he wasn’t alone in the feeling that they were developing something special. He was more than willing to go slowly, for Liv’s peace of mind, but he wanted to make sure they were on the same page.
“Don’t rush” became his mantra, but being the guy he was, of course he screwed it up.