Ethan stood outside the door of Sir Alexander’s study, working up the courage to knock. To make good on his proposal to Lucy, he had to speak to him about the forester position. But the difference between dreaming and planning and actually taking a step into the future he wanted was making him sweat. What if Sir Alexander had objections that Ethan hadn’t thought of? What if he already had someone else in mind for the post, or Hobbs had put a candidate forward? Hobbs planned well ahead for the estate, he knew that from his brother. He would be aware that Old Elkins was ready to go. What if he couldn’t offer Lucy a life in the little cottage near the edge of the forest? What if he couldn’t have it himself? He didn’t know what he’d do if that happened. For years, he’d seen himself there.
Even if it all went smooth as silk, there was still his dad. Ethan didn’t want to bring Lucy into the family in the midst of a feud. In his imaginings, they visited with his parents and sisters, were a welcome part of occasions filled with laughter and conversation.
He wasn’t afraid of his father; that wasn’t it. But he hated wrangling. More, he wanted his dad’s respect for the work he chose. Could he be made to understand?
Stop havering, Ethan thought! He forced himself to knock. At a word from inside, he went in. Sir Alexander sat at his desk, but he didn’t seem deep into his work. He was gazing out the windows. That was good. “I wondered if I might speak to you, sir?”
“Yes? What is it, Ethan?” He sounded distracted but not impatient. That was good, too.
“It’s about…” Ethan had gone over this speech in his mind a hundred times. All of that flew out of his head the instant he opened his mouth. “It’s about… about old Elkins, sir.”
“Elkins?” Sir Alexander frowned. “Who is Elkins?”
“Ol… Fred Elkins, the forester, in Derbyshire.”
“Oh. Yes, I recall. What about him?”
“Well, he’s getting on in years, you know, and suffers from the bone ache something terrible.” This was not important! Ethan rushed on, speaking faster and faster in the face of Sir Alexander’s obvious puzzlement. “He’s wanting to go off to Cornwall, to his daughter’s place, and… take it a bit easier, like. And I was hoping to… or, I mean, I wanted to ask you about having his position, sir. My taking it over, I mean.”
“You? As forester?”
He was making a hash of this, saying it all wrong. Nothing to do now, though, but soldier on. “Elkins’s trained me since I was a lad. I spent just about every free minute with him, I was that interested. I know what needs to be done and how to do it, and I’d be… I believe I’d be right good at it, sir. Do a fine job for you.”
Sir Alexander examined him. His surprise had given way to serious appraisal. “I think your family had other hopes for you?”
Ethan set his jaw. “It’s what I love to do. Working in the woods. It’s where I belong.” Here, at least, he sounded dead certain.
“Ah.” Sir Alexander considered him a bit longer. “I see no problem with the request. I will have to discuss it with Hobbs.”
Ethan nodded; he’d expected this. He thought the estate steward would accept him if Sir Alexander brought it up; he knew of no reason why not. Of course, with his brother Sam working right next to him in the office there, word of his request would reach his father like greased lightning. He’d have to get a letter in the same packet Sir Alexander sent home. The thought of composing it made him want to groan.
“I do recall now that Hobbs mentioned Elkins’s wish to leave,” Sir Alexander added. “You understand that no change could be made until we return to the country.”
“Yes, sir.”
Sir Alexander continued to gaze at him. “If it is what you really want, I think it will be satisfactory.”
Ethan felt the grin spread over his face. He couldn’t help it. “Thank you, sir!” he exclaimed. With a small bow, he left while he was ahead.
A bit later, laying the table for luncheon, Ethan’s hands shook with elation and relief. He’d done it! He’d succeeded—or as well as. He’d reached out to get the life he wanted, and he hadn’t been refused. More than anything, he longed to run and tell Lucy. Probably lucky he couldn’t