opinion and perception over mine,” Lucan said. “Even though you must’ve realized how much time I spent with Sando, that I knew him ten times better than you.”
“I was blind,” Palani admitted. “Blinded by the professor’s accomplishments, his dedication to the gene. I couldn’t believe a man like him could hurt his son.”
Lucan had to swallow before he could speak. “You of all people should know that people are capable of both good and bad at the same time. York did horrible things, but he also accomplished good things for omegas. Even the creators of the gene, who did something awful that violated the privacy and rights of hundreds of women, may have had good motives. Sando’s father is both. He’s super smart and has done more than anyone else to map the gene and research possible solutions. But at the same time, he abused his son, both psychologically and physically.”
Palani’s head hung low. “I know. And I can’t tell you how sorry I am. At first, I didn’t believe you, and after that…things got hazy. In hindsight, my brain wasn’t working properly for a while because I have a lot of gaps in my memory. I didn’t remember much from the weeks before my…death. And what I remember mostly focuses on how I felt, my emotions, on being with my mates and my son. I don’t have any recollections from conversations with others. It’s a horrible excuse because I realize all too well that it’s damn near impossible for you to argue with it or be upset about it, but it’s all I can offer.”
Bray cleared his throat. “I don’t have that excuse. I just…forgot. You asked me, and I’d planned to head over the next morning to talk with his father…and then Palani had his seizure, and I forgot.”
Lucan was tired, so tired. He felt like he’d been fighting for months now, and maybe he had. Maybe trying to get them to understand was a futile endeavor. Sando was safe, so maybe he should just move on and forget about it. Except he couldn’t. He couldn’t ignore the fire that burned inside him, the voice that screamed how unfair it was, how unjust.
Lucan lost the battle with his tears, but he didn’t care anymore. “You’re right, Palani. It is horrible because how can I not understand under these circumstances? You had a brain tumor, so of course I need to give you a pass. And Bray was named your replacement on the day I approached him, so obviously he had a million things to take care of that took precedent over this, but the fact is that at the end of the day, Sando still got hurt. We have a hierarchy in this pack, a system, and I tried to abide by it. We were told not to approach Lidon, even though he was and is Sando’s alpha guardian. So we talked to the second-in-command and to Enar, your mate. When that didn’t work, we talked to basically the third-in-command, my own brother. And still nothing happened.”
He choked a few times, his emotions getting the better of him, but he didn’t even try to hold them back anymore. Let them see he was hurt and angry. Why the hell should he have to hide that?
“Don’t forget that I failed you first,” Maz said quietly. “First and foremost, I should’ve stepped up, and I didn’t until the very end. We all failed you and Sando.”
“Yes,” Lucan said. “You failed me too. The whole system failed me. All of you. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust in that system ever again. Not if status still matters most.”
“Status?” Palani asked. “I don’t understand.”
“You didn’t believe me over Sando’s father because he was a famous researcher, and I’m…nobody. My father recently told me that he believes betas are the backbone of the pack, not alphas, and I really thought he had a point. But I guess the bottom line is still that status matters most because you can’t tell me that if Maz had come to either of you demanding you’d do something, you would’ve ignored him as easily as you did me.”
His words hung heavy in the room. Palani stepped back as if Lucan had hit him, and Bray paled. Lucan crossed his arms, his chest heaving, though he felt so much lighter now that he’d let it out. His words might have been sharp, but he’d meant every single one of them, and fuck if