That’s why I wasn’t able to commit to a relationship before, why I wanted to keep things casual, even with Lucan when we met. But once I realized I loved him, I thought it would go away, that love would be enough to heal that pain, take away that deep fear that I’d become like them.”
Sivney’s eyes showed nothing but understanding. “The saying that all you need is love is bullshit. Love isn’t the magical cure for everything.”
“So I’m discovering,” Maz said dryly.
“If you ask me, at the end of the day, it’s half love and half courage. You have to be somewhat fearless to jump into a relationship after surviving being hurt that badly. In my case, it was an ex, but I don’t think it really matters. You have to find the courage to acknowledge that yes, you may get hurt again and then choose to do it anyway.”
Maz’s smile widened. “You should charge for this shit, man. It’s worth gold.”
“Nah, I’m good. We’ll consider it my payment for your medical services.”
“Seriously, though, thank you. You gave me a lot to think about.”
“You’re welcome, Doc. Now scram. I’ve got this first shift and methinks you could use a little time with your men. And if I may dispense one more bit of advice. Don’t wait to tell your men you love them. Life is awfully fragile, Doc… You may not have a next week or a next month.”
8
When Sando woke up and opened his eyes, pale light spilled through a gap in the curtains, and he was snuggled up against a warm body. Lucan’s. Lucan was holding him, or maybe Sando had been clinging to him. Either way, he was in his arms, and it was all kinds of wonderful and amazing, even more because behind him, he sensed Maz’s presence, a soft snore indicating the alpha was still deep under.
He felt rested. How long had he slept? It had been around lunchtime when he’d walked out, and Lucan had put him to bed immediately after their shower. But judging by the light, it was early morning now. He must’ve slept the whole day and night away. It hadn’t been in his head, then. It wasn’t mere mental tiredness. If he’d slept that long, his body had needed it.
He had to admit he felt better. Different. The headache that had brewed behind his eyes for days, if not longer, was gone, and his muscles functioned like he could actually get out of bed and do something. Just then, his stomach growled, so loud he almost snickered. Wait. When was the last time he’d woken up with an appetite? Hell, when was the last time he’d been hungry at all?
His body must’ve been in far worse shape than he’d realized if sleeping for eighteen hours could make him feel this much better. He had been in denial about the reality of his situation over the last few weeks. And if he hadn’t had that revelation about his multivitamins the day before, he might still be stuck in that same denial phase.
As much as he’d told himself he owed it to his father to take care of him and be there for him, that discovery had opened his eyes. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it before, but then again, who considered even the possibility of their own father secretly medicating them?
Even now, it was hard to wrap his mind around it, but the evidence was overwhelming. And his father hadn’t denied it. No, he’d gone off into some crazy-sounding rant about Sando and his…mother? Sando still didn’t understand the strange things his father had mumbled about his mother throwing away her career or some shit. Had she been a student of his father’s?
He’d never taught formally, though, not as far as Sando knew at least. And even if he had, he would’ve never been allowed that close contact with a female omega. Unless he’d been married to her. Had he been? Either way, what had happened to her? His father had said something about her being dead, but then he’d also mentioned he hadn’t seen her since Sando was a year old, so which one was it?
And what to make of that strange remark about not even being Sando’s father? It had to be a mistake, another result of his confused mind. They looked too much alike not to be related, so why would his father say that?
So many questions and the odds of ever getting answers were