Old Demon and the Sea Witch (Welcome to Hell #9) - Eve Langlais Page 0,11

for great things, and she would live a long, long time. Whereas I—only a scholar, not a fighter, and human to boot—wasn’t a proper match for her. That didn’t occur until I became a demi-demon, but by then, it was too late.

Dottie had moved on.

“Fuck me with a giant dildo, could you look more depressed on a cruise through paradise? What the fuck is wrong with you?” The devil stood blocking my view with his obnoxiously bright ensemble.

“Sailor suits went out of style,” I remarked.

“I am bringing them back, baby.” Lucifer swung his hips and winked.

“What do you want?” I snapped.

“Now, Shax, is that any way to greet your lord and master?” Lucifer pretended to be aggrieved.

I merely scowled. Having served out my contract in Hell, the devil no longer had true reign over me. “I retired from your service.”

“Ruining my perfect record, I know. People are supposed to die on the job, literally working themselves to death. But you…you are actually collecting your pension as of this morning.”

“I hardly call getting a piece of coal each week a pension.”

“Back in the day, when the bargain was made, it was worth a fortune.”

“Why are you here? Don’t you have to go feed the baby or something?” I didn’t need the devil breathing down my neck, not with me secretly working for his wife.

“I let Nef borrow the little ankle biter.” Lucifer angled his leg. “Little fucker clamped on this morning and wouldn’t let go. Had to shake like a bunny on ED pills to get him off. Thought Gaia was gonna tear off my head when she caught him. Can you believe she said my yelling ‘touchdown’ was inappropriate?”

“I can’t imagine.” Because that seemed like a perfect time to use that expression. “And Gaia’s okay with Nefertiti watching the child?”

“Why wouldn’t she be? I used to let Muri visit with her all the time. And Bambi credits her time in the tower as the reason she won Slut of the Year so many times in a row. But only because I don’t participate anymore.” Lucifer had been the undisputed champ for a long time.

“Hey, if you aren’t attached to your head, then who am I to dispute your choice in childcare?” I shrugged.

“I smell the censure in your tone.” The devil puffed up his chest.

Such preening had long ago lost its ability to impress. Don’t get me wrong, in a knock-them-down battle, Lucifer would hand me my ass. But that didn’t mean I rolled over to him.

“Gee, why would anyone have a problem with a sorceress, almost as old as you, caring for an innocent child?”

“Ain’t nothing innocent about my son,” Lucifer bragged. “And how come you’re not bugging Adexios? He has a sea monster watching after his kids.”

“Sweets would pulverize anyone who harmed a hair on their heads.”

“I know, and it’s so unfair. How come I don’t have a sea monster?” Lucifer pouting was a scary thing. “Not yet, at any rate. How is Ian doing?” His teeth gleamed.

I glared. “Ian isn’t working for you.” The devil kept offering, though. Wanted a kraken of his very own on the payroll.

“Then you better help me out.”

“With what?” I’d agree to many things to get the devil to walk away from the kid. Yes, kid. At thirty-two, Ian hadn’t experienced anything. A child still in so many ways.

“Something weird is going on. I can feel it. Coming from this very ship!” His brows beetled—impressively I might add—actually shifting across his face.

“And what do you expect me to do about it?”

“I need you to be my eyes and ears, Shax. Flush out the threat.”

“Other than food poisoning, I highly doubt there’s anything on this ship that can hurt you. Or Hell for that matter.”

“You can’t know that for sure. You haven’t even looked.”

“I can be sure because even if there was something hinky on board, I’d say it’s the humans on this Earth plane that need to worry. Not you. Unless you’re planning to bring back the threat if it turns out to be alive.”

Lucifer rubbed his chin. “Depends on if it would make a good pet. I’d like to get Damian something unique.”

“Why not another dragon? Like you got your granddaughter, Lucinda.”

The devil shook his head. “Too simple. I want something a little cooler.”

“I swear, you try to give my nephew to your kid as a pet, and we will have a problem.”

“Threatening me?” Lucifer huffed some smoke.

“Don’t touch Ian.”

“You want to make a deal, then you will do my bidding