Oh, Keep Your Shirt On - Michelle Pennington Page 0,63
whether or not I fit society’s ideals.
I sketched the same skinny figure that was the focus of so much of my work, but this time, instead of cringing away from unseen eyes or crouching in a vulnerable pose, she stood tall with her narrow hip stuck out to the side and her arms wrapped around herself in an embrace. This time there were no pointing fingers or judgmental eyes. It didn’t matter what others saw, only that she accepted herself.
Not in the way I’d always thought either. Even though I’d been tough and determined not to change for anyone, I’d never given myself permission to find myself beautiful.
Maybe all this time, I’d been afraid to let people into my life because I’d known my self-esteem was only surface-deep, like a protective shell.
Usually, I kept my sketches vague since I tended to see shape and proportion better once I began to paint, but this time, I even pressed down with the pencil to draw dark strokes, marking lines and shapes and yes, even curves, of a figure that was very much mine. The memory of how my waist and hips and shoulders had felt under Damien’s touch had completely changed my perception of my figure.
As peace flooded me, I became aware of a new, niggling emotion scratching at my awareness. I’d been rude to Victoria earlier. And even if she’d been a massive annoyance, I didn’t want to be part of tearing other women down because of their body. I had no idea if she’d gotten implants, but it didn’t matter. Who was I to judge someone for how they tried to feel good about themselves?
As usual when I worked on art that I really connected with, I lost all track of time. It took a firm shake on my shoulder to bring me out of my hyper-focus.
I jerked around to look over my shoulder as I yanked my earbuds out of my ears. It was Victoria.
“That’s really good.”
Surprised, because that was the last thing I’d expected her to say, I looked down at the canvas in front of me. Maybe she wasn’t all bad. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to paint it?”
“Yeah. After I get it sketched out.”
“From the way your mom talked, I had no idea you were so talented.”
I had no idea what to say to that, so I just sat and waited. My mom’s opinion of my work would always hurt.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Damien sent me up here to get you. Are you not talking to him or something?”
“I’m trying not to.” Which is why I put my earbuds back into my ears.
Victoria pulled them back out again. “He needs you to move your car.”
Remembering, I smiled in satisfaction. “Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”
“Sometimes, I wish you would smile, but you’re actually scarier when you do.”
“I know, right?” I put my pencil down, deciding I might as well go move my car. “And by the way, I’m sorry for the catty remark I made about your chest earlier.”
Victoria shrugged. “I’m used to dealing with jealousy. They’re natural, but no one believes it because I’m so thin.”
I nodded. She was probably right. Her supreme confidence was kind of off-putting, but I also had to admire it. And no doubt she had dealt with a lot of jealousy. That was a struggle I had never experienced, but I could still sympathize with her. We women needed to be kinder to each other—and to ourselves.
When I got downstairs, I grabbed my keys and went out to check for Damien in the front first. He wasn’t there, but Jen was. She sat in her Jeep with the windows down and music playing loudly enough to clash with what was coming from Damien’s speakers in the backyard. Her headlights almost blinded me, but I managed to walk past them without bumping into anything.
“Oh, hey. You came,” she said, looking up from her phone. “Sorry I have to leave early.”
“Uh, yeah. Just, next time, could you not park in my driveway?”
She smiled and actually looked nice as she did it. “Sure. Damien told me to park here. Like, he specifically told me to park here and nowhere else.”
I pressed my lips together. “Oh, he did, huh?”
She laughed. “Yep. I don’t know what you did to that man, but you obviously succeeded where the rest of us have failed.”
“That’s yet to be determined.”
“Huh. That’s not the impression I got.”
It was so strange talking to her like this. I’d been so jealous of her since the