Number Neighbors - Emma Hart Page 0,5
wiped the image of him from my mind. Seriously, it was unfair that someone who looked like he’d been chiseled by an Italian sculptor also had the sexiest accent known to man.
There was something so, so wrong about it.
God knows what he was doing living in Bumfuck, USA. He should have been married to a European princess or someone equally as important.
I took a deep breath as I approached Main Street. Immy’s car was already outside the store, and I pulled into the spot behind her. My car only just squeezed in there thanks to the jerk behind taking up about ten spots with what I was sure was either a limo or a Hummer.
Maybe it was just an army tank.
I grabbed my purse from the front seat and went inside. She was arranging the yarn into their correct spaces and pricing some others for the sale basket. I joined her, taking the pricing gun from the side table.
“Morning,” she said brightly. “How was your night?”
I didn’t need to be smart to catch the inflection in her tone. “It was fine. How was yours?”
“Went home, had good sex. You?”
I pursed my lips. “I had a good night’s sleep.”
“Hannah.” She shoved a ball of yarn and me and glared. “What happened with your new friend?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Hadn’t I already been over this a thousand times with my own brain this morning? Did I need to rehash it with her, too?
“Nothing happened.”
“Look me in the eye and say that.”
“Oh, go away.”
She laughed, twirling in a circle. “I knew it!”
“You’re way too invested in the actions of my clitoris,” I told her, pricing the label on the yarn.
“Yeah, I am! Do you know anything about the person?”
“Nope. I intend it to stay that way.”
“Stay that way? Are you going to sext again?”
“What are you, sixteen?”
“I feel like it. This is exciting, Han! Way more exciting than my life.”
“I’ll tell Mason you said that,” I replied, taking another yarn from her. “How much for this one?”
“One-ninety-nine,” Immy responded. “But are you really doing it again?”
I shrugged. “I’ll let you know tomorrow. Is it book club?”
“You’re not changing the subject, Hannah.”
“I think you’ll find I am,” I retorted smartly. “Is it book club tomorrow?”
Immy rolled her eyes, but she gave in. “Yes, it’s book club tomorrow. Are you coming?”
“Depends. Has Grandma found me another date yet?”
“No idea. She watched that episode of Friends where Phoebe’s grandma crosses out the dead people in the Yellow Pages. She’s been doing that for the past three days.”
“Does she even know those people?”
“No, but she has now taken to pointing at the wedding and new baby announcements and wondering out loud when it’ll be me.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Is that before or after the obituaries?”
“Before. Apparently, she needs the obituaries to cheer her up.” Immy gave me a withering look. “The woman is one head bang away from being institutionalized.”
That was slightly dramatic.
“I don’t really want to come,” I admitted. “Do I have to?”
“You don’t have to, but you should. To be a good granddaughter.”
“I’m not going so you can run off.” I tossed the yarn I’d just priced into the basket. “If you do that, I’m leaving them on their own.”
Immy’s face wrinkled up, but she dropped the expression and sighed. “Fine. Okay. I won’t run away.”
“Good.”
“But you’re going to tell me all about your late night escapade with your number neighbor.”
I sighed, heavier than she had. “Fine.”
***
NN: Hey, stranger.
“Lucifer, to bed.” I scooped up the kitten and put it in the kitchen in its bed. He meowed then sneezed, snotting all over my wall. I quickly wiped up the mess before scratching the kitten under its ear and saying goodnight.
Butterflies exploded in my stomach as I shut my bedroom door behind me. I really was starting to question my own sanity in doing this, but at this point, I had nothing to lose.
I also had nothing better to do on a Saturday night.
I needed to address that issue soon.
ME: Hey.
NN: Good day?
ME: Is it normal to make small talk before you sext?
NN: Do you have a filter between your brain and your fingers?
ME: No. That was lost generations ago. If you think I’m bad, you should meet my grandmother.
NN: Maybe just the virtual sex for tonight.
I wished I was that lucky.
ME: Okay.
ME: Um, should I start?
NN: If you’re ready to. Go ahead.
ME: Okay.
And… nothing.
Goddamn it.
It couldn’t be that hard, could it? I’d watched plenty of porn. I’d had sex. I knew how