Nowhere but Home A Novel - By Liza Palmer Page 0,118

To do their job.

The Dent boys and I quickly clean the kitchen. We want to get out of here as fast as we can tonight. The stench of this man sticks to us all and I can’t wait to take a shower and climb into bed . . . with Merry Carole. This guy is freaking me out. The kitchen door clicks and Shawn walks in with the empty tray.

The apple is still there. Uneaten.

Harlan grabs it off the tray and throws it away.

“Cody, why don’t you close up that trash bag,” Harlan says. Cody pulls the garbage bag out of the can where the apple is. He knots it and stands there.

“I’ll take it out back,” Jace says, taking the bag from Cody.

None of us mentions the apple again.

Jace takes the Dent boys back to their cells after our good-byes. As Jace is walking out of the kitchen, Warden Dale joins Shawn and me in the kitchen. They exchange a look and Warden Dale passes me a slip of paper. Too bad I’m not a futurist, I’d love to know what all this fuss is about.

Inmate #354-M15:

Chicken fried steak with cream gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans cooked in bacon fat, one buttermilk biscuit, and a slice of pecan pie with fresh strawberry ice cream

“Is this some kind of joke?” I ask Warden Dale, the blood rushing from my head.

“No, ma’am,” Warden Dale says.

“This is the Number One. My mom’s famous meal from her old restaurant back in North Star. It’s even written the same, just like on the menu,” I say, holding the piece of paper as if it’s infected. Warden Dale is quiet. Shawn is watching me. Studying me.

I scan the paper once more.

with fresh strawberry ice cream

My stomach drops as I steady myself on the metal counter. Shawn steps forward. Just in case. Warden Dale holds his ground. The kitchen swirls around me and I can hear my own breathing in my ears.

“This is Yvonne Chapman’s order. I’d know it anywhere,” I say, my voice desperate and breathless. I hold the paper up and thrust it at Warden Dale. “Why am I holding Yvonne Chapman’s order like I’m back working at that damn shack?” My voice gets louder as an explosion inside me ignites everything. All of the delicate rebuilding, all of the intricate emotions I’d started untangling in the past few months go up in flames. Complicated monster or not, this is beyond the pale. My insides will soon turn to embers as I can only continue to stare at the paper.

They wait. As it finally dawns on me.

“No . . . no . . . no way. No fucking way,” I say, shoving the piece of paper at Warden Dale.

“Queenie,” Warden Dale says.

“You want me to make this meal, my mother’s famous meal, for the woman who killed her? You want me to stand in this kitchen while the woman who made my sister and me orphans is just a few feet away from me, just behind that metal door I’m never supposed to go into? What makes you think I wouldn’t go over there and do it myself? I mean, if anyone had the fucking right to kill Brandi-Jaques Wake, don’t you think it should have been my sister or me? And if we didn’t? If we were able to control ourselves, don’t you think Yvonne Chapman should have been able to? Was it really that bad? She could have just thrown us out, Warden Dale. Why didn’t she just throw us out? She didn’t have to kill her!” I scream, slamming the piece of paper down on the metal counter.

“Ms. Wake, you would do well to get in control of your emotions,” Warden Dale says. Shawn looks at Warden Dale, his entire body tense.

“You can go to hell. How’s that for control?” I say, turning around to pick up my knives. I sling them over my shoulder.

“Ms. Wake, destiny has given you an opportunity here,” Warden Dale says.

“Destiny has given me an opportunity? What does that even mean?”

“It means, like so many other victims’ families, you can have closure,” Warden Dale says.

“Closure is something only people who’ve never had someone in their family murdered talk about. How is she still even around?” I ask, trying to make sense of something.

“Her case has been in the appeals courts for years, but her time’s finally up,” Warden Dale says. I would have known this had I not vowed to no longer check that Web site.