Nowhere but Home A Novel - By Liza Palmer Page 0,111
in the little pool,” I say.
“They are not going to play in that dopey little pool.”
“If you bring those children over here to this house and they see this dopey little pool and don’t have their swimming suits, you’re going to have some naked children on your hands,” I say.
“Fine, but it may just be too hot,” Merry Carole says.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I say as the temperature rises. I continue, “Have y’all set a date?”
“What?”
“You and Reed? Have you set a date?” I ask.
“Oh . . . I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I know we don’t want anything big.” Merry Carole is acting downright shifty.
“So something small. Like how small?”
“Queenie, it’s not going to be in the next few weeks, so I don’t even know if you’re going to be here.” She fixes her gaze on me and doesn’t let go. A raised eyebrow only accentuates her doubt at my staying.
“Honey, I would stay for your wedding,” I say, standing. I walk over to the smoker and fidget with my station. Shifting the bowl one inch to the right, waving away a few flies.
“Dee says she talked to you about Momma’s shack.”
“She did.”
“And?”
“I can’t say I haven’t thought about it,” I say.
“You can’t say you haven’t thought about it? What does that even mean?”
“I’ve never really thought about having my own restaurant until lately. Making these recipes, having a kitchen of my own—it’s definitely making me think.”
“It’s our land, Queen Elizabeth. This house and that land are the only things we own and that land is yours if you want it.”
“Mine?”
“Well, it’s ours, but if you stay you can live on it, work on it. Have it.”
“Why . . . why would you just—”
Merry Carole stands and walks over to me. As she gets closer, I can see her close her eyes and just inhale. The hickory smoke is signaling that the Wakes are back in business.
“You seem happy,” Merry Carole says, her voice easy and calm.
“If I stayed, I would have to deal with Everett,” I say. Out loud. For the first time. I hate that he’s my reason—always is my reason—for running away from North Star.
“Yes, you would.”
“I didn’t know any of that stuff that Whitney was talking about,” I say.
“Neither did I.”
“I just don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know how to make this work. I don’t know if I can be here and not turn into this crazy person who just gazes at him longingly and sighs,” I say.
“You do do a lot of sighing.”
“I nearly hyperventilated the other day, for crissakes,” I say.
“Cal loves having you. I love having you. You can’t tell me that you’re not having fun catching up with Fawn and Dee?”
“No, they’re great.”
“And isn’t it time we concentrated on that rather than what Piggy Peggy thinks?”
I look at her. Purposefully.
Merry Carole continues, “Fine, fine. I’m totally full of shit.” She laughs. And laughs.
“Yes, you are,” I say.
“But me not telling people about Reed is not the point of this conversation, Queen Elizabeth.”
“And are you going to wear the engagement ring outside this house?”
“I am certainly thinking about it,” Merry Carole says. I can’t help but laugh. Merry Carole continues, “I want you to think about staying and doing something with our land. You can’t work at that prison forever, so if you want to stay, that could be a great option.”
“Honey, I think about that plot of land and I just get—”
“Emotional?”
“Overwhelmed. I feel claustrophobic just thinking about walking back in there. When I met Dee at the bar, I stood there staring at that black space where the shack used to be and I just froze,” I say, trying to steady my breathing. I continue, “I was stuck in that shack almost every day after school. I never thought a person could be ignored in such a tiny space. No matter how long I spent in that shack with Momma, it was always the same. I was a means to an end just like everyone else.”
“She’s gone now. She can’t ignore us anymore. She can’t use us anymore. There are no ghosts on that land, trust me. All I’m saying is that you love to cook. You apparently love to cook Texas food and I can attest to the fact that you’re damn good at it. Why let Mom win again? Why not open up your own place? You said yourself that you love having your own kitchen.”