Nowhere but Home A Novel - By Liza Palmer Page 0,104

for me and we walk out onto the porch. I walk down the steps and climb back into my car, scattering the handful of Starburst onto the passenger seat once again. I start up the car and turn on my headlights. They light up Everett standing on that porch. I take a deep breath and turn my car around and make my way back down that long dirt road.

I drive back through North Star in a daze. He wanted me to stop the wedding? So both of us kept waiting for the other one to step in and save us from ourselves. I pull down Merry Carole’s driveway, shut my car off, and just sit there for a second. The silence of the car soothes me as the heat builds from the closed windows and my buzzing energy. I grab my knives, leave the Starburst, and walk inside the warmly lit house.

“You’re home early,” Merry Carole says, sitting on the couch with Cal.

“Yeah,” I say, walking toward the kitchen in a daze.

“Have you eaten dinner?” Merry Carole calls from the living room.

“I had lunch,” I say from the kitchen.

“There’s leftovers in the fridge. I made my macaroni and cheese,” Merry Carole says.

“Oh nice,” I say, pulling the casserole dish from the refrigerator. I serve myself up some mac ’n’ cheese and wait in the kitchen as the microwave spins. Merry Carole walks into the kitchen.

“You okay?” she asks, craning her neck to make sure Cal is still in the living room.

“I may have just slapped Hudson in the face,” I say.

“What happened?” Merry Carole asks.

“I was late to the bar and he was already leaving with another woman,” I say.

“Oh,” Merry Carole says, taken aback.

“But it’s fine. He’s not—”

“He’s not Ev—”

“Well, there’s that. But there was something off about him,” I say.

“You’re not just saying that?”

“No, he had this switch. It’s like people became objects really quick. It was weird.”

“Is he a sociopath?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t know—wow, maybe. He started talking to me about victims’ families and how they feel this and that happens and what did I think and had I experienced that when my mom was murdered—at Delfina’s he was talking like this.”

“What? Why would he do that? That’s none of his business.”

“I know. I think because it’s what he’s studying he forgot that he just doesn’t get to demand that information. He treated me like one of his test subjects.”

“That’s crazy.”

“I’m glad I didn’t get any further with him,” I say.

“No, it’s good that you’re completely in love with someone else and therefore incapable of starting up anything new with anyone else. How is . . . everything else?” Merry Carole gives me a quick wink and smiles. I choose not to share with her my little detour to Everett’s house right at this particular moment.

“It was a tough one. He was young. And . . . I knew it, you know? I just knew it. He wanted candy, but then he didn’t eat it? It was Starburst. Did you know there’s like ten thousand flavors of Starburst now? But why wouldn’t you eat it? Shawn gave it back to me and . . . what am I supposed to do with it? I don’t want to throw it away because . . . I just don’t want to throw it away. I don’t want to eat it, either, because that just seems particularly gruesome. And if I give them away it’s like . . . hey, little girl, here’s a dead murderer’s candy. Ugh, I don’t know. So the candy’s in my car and I wish it would just disappear. Then Shawn came in and said my next meal is this Friday and it’s barbecue, which means—”

“An all-nighter,” Merry Carole finishes.

“Exactly,” I say.

“Well, maybe we can make it fun. Invite Fawn and Dee over,” Merry Carole says.

“Oh my God, that’d be great,” I say.

“Then we’ll do that,” Merry Carole says. The microwave dings and I pull the dish out and find a fork.

“You were going to tell me something?” I ask.

“I’ll tell you later,” Merry Carole says, checking the living room once again.

“You’re kind of freaking me out,” I say, burning my mouth as I try to eat Merry Carole’s mac ’n’ cheese too soon.

“Don’t be. It’s good. Trust me,” Merry Carole says.

“If the situation were reversed, you’d have me tied up in some torture chamber right now making me talk,” I say, eating another bite too soon. My taste buds are now officially