in the moment but never did escape that nagging feeling in her gut that she needed to find Ella.
“Did you see that?” Jay said.
“What?”
“A lightning bug! There it went again.”
Abby spotted a tiny yellow flicker. And then another. And another until the night seemed to come alive.
She heard herself giggling, her mind wandering back to one summer night when her family was camping on the Buffalo River. Neither Jesse nor Riley Jo was born yet, and Abby couldn’t have been older than five or six …
Abby spotted a beam of light coming up the path from the river. Hawk came racing over to her and flopped down in the lawn chair next to her.
“Look what I found.” Hawk held up a jar with several insects that seemed to turn on and off like lightbulbs. “Fireflies.”
Abby drew back. “Will they sting me?”
“No, they’re tame as anything. It’s so cool how they light up the night.” Hawk sprang to his feet and pulled her by the arm. “Come on. I want to show you something.”
Daddy came out of the tent. “Did I hear you say you spotted fireflies?”
“Yeah, they’re everywhere,” Hawk said. “We need to get away from the lanterns so Abby can see them.”
“See what?” Mama hollered from inside the tent.
“Come with us,” Hawk said. “I’m taking Abby to the river to see the fireflies.”
A minute later, Abby was covered in insect repellent and flanked by her mother and father, each holding her hand, her brother lighting the way with the flashlight.
Hawk stopped on a dry stretch of bank and sat cross-legged on the ground. “This is far enough.”
Abby sat between her mother and father as Hawk turned off the flashlight. “Keep your eyes peeled,” he said.
Within seconds, the inky blackness, near and far, was alight with hundreds—thousands—of tiny Tinker Bells, which seemed even more numerous because their flickering lights were reflected in the river. Abby had never seen anything like it. It was magical.
Daddy grabbed at something. “Gotcha.” He rolled over on his knees in front of Abby. “Don’t be scared. Fireflies won’t hurt you. Let me show you.”
He cupped his hands together and gave her a peek of the flickering light coming from the bug he had captured. “Here, princess. You hold it.”
Daddy carefully transferred the firefly to Abby’s palm and closed her hands around it.
Abby laughed. “It tickles.” She opened her hand, and the firefly took flight, joining the magnificent festival of lights that made it feel like Christmas in summertime.
Mama reached up as if to touch the tiny bursts of yellow light that were all around them, her laughter like music. She seemed so alive and full of joy …
Jay’s voice brought Abby back to the present.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Did you ask me something?”
“I just wondered what had you so tickled. What were you thinking about?”
Abby told him about her first encounter with fireflies. “I’ve seen a million of them since then, but the light show has never been quite as spectacular as it was that night. I don’t know if it’s because it was the first time or because it was such a happy family memory.” Abby exhaled. “I miss that so much. Our family doesn’t really feel like a family without Daddy.”
“But you’ve got your mom and grandpa and your brothers,” Jay said. “That’s a family.”
“I guess. But there’s a big hole that no one else can fill.”
Jay nodded. “I get that. I still have my dad, but there’s a big void when we’re together, and I can tell he’d rather be somewhere else.”
Abby looked out at the thousands of flickering lights illuminating the June night. “I miss mine so much. Part of me still thinks he’s going to come home and all this will have been a nightmare.”
She reached in her waistband and took out her cell phone. Why not go ahead and tell Jay everything? At least he wouldn’t be dismissive.
“The reason I’m so somber,” she said, “is I saw a girl at Murchison’s Feed Store yesterday. She was the spitting image of Riley Jo. And about the age she would be now. Thankfully, I had my wits about me enough to take a picture of her.” Abby pulled the photo up on the screen and handed her cell phone to Jay. “She even has blue eyes.”
“Cute kid,” Jay said. “She reminds me of Jesse. I mean, they could be related. Maybe it’s the dark hair and blue eyes.”
“Exactly. But no one else in my family thinks it’s worth pursuing.”