The (Not) Satisfied Dragon - Colette Rhodes Page 0,11

den, but there isn’t a thing in this world I wouldn’t do to keep my gold safe, and your mates are a lot more accustomed to getting their way than I am.”

Had I ever considered us being happy together? Not really. When they’d first rescued me from the Castell Estate, I hadn’t let myself get attached to them because I’d always planned on leaving. They’d made that task easier by being completely insufferable.

“Don’t you hate them?” I asked curiously. Ezra had pinned him up by the throat, after all.

“They didn’t make a great first impression, especially considering they’re the Council’s up and coming young enforcers,” Xander chuckled. “To be fair, their heads were a mess. You probably don’t make the easiest mate, sis. I imagine you’ll all feel a lot more balanced once you’re bonded.”

“I can’t bond to their flight, Xander. The whole murdering thing, remember? You said it yourself. They’re the up-and-coming enforcers.”

“And yet, they seemed remarkably relaxed, having discovered you covered in blood in a room full of dead bodies,” Xander scoffed. “The gods know what they’re doing when they match mates — yours are probably just as bloodthirsty as you are. If you all want it to work, you can make it work.”

I made a disbelieving noise in the back of my throat. “I doubt it. Didn’t you hear how Hiram was talking to me?”

“Yeah, he’s definitely got some work to do — and I’ll probably hate him forever just so you know — but he’s yours. They all are.”

I wasn’t so sure he was right, and it didn’t matter anyway. They had promising lives ahead of them. They were Council Enforcers, and Seff wanted them to run for a Council position one day. They needed a mate who wanted to stay home and do all the things a gold was supposed to do, one without the murderous backstory. They were better off alone than carrying my dead weight.

“I think I need to lie down for a while.”

“Second door on the left, I made up the bed for you,” Xander said, spinning his empty cup between his hands. “I’ll stay in the other room, okay? I’ll need to check in with Quillan at some point, but it can wait.”

I nodded silently, grateful to not be on my own for the time being, and let myself out of the kitchen. As horrible as the lingering liltane in my body felt, I hoped there would be enough to help me fall asleep. I wasn’t ready to think about what would happen next. I didn’t even know where to begin.

✽✽✽

I barely saw Xander over the following two days, he disappeared for a few hours to talk to Quillan, but other than that he’d been in the cottage, staying close but keeping out of my way. I was grateful. I needed space to come to terms with the never-ending series of hurdles that was my life.

Now what?

I was thankful my mates had come to Flight Milain’s den when they did — I had no idea how long the liltane would have affected me in that closed space — but their presence in my life again was also an obstacle I needed to address. When I left, I hadn’t ever planned on seeing them again. Hadn’t planned on them knowing what I’d done, nor seeing it firsthand. It introduced a whole new set of complications.

I’d been avoiding said complications by sleeping as much as possible, which Xander conveniently believed was a side effect of the liltane. I was lying in bed, waking up from my daily nap. The room was filled with the warm gold of the late afternoon sun, and the house was silent. I laid on the bed, staring up at the swirling patterns on the ceiling. The bedroom I was staying in was pretty. The walls were painted with floral designs in shades of blue with green vines, and the curtains and bedding were all white and gauzy. It was a very feminine space, perhaps decorated by Fi’s mother.

For over a decade, the first thing on my mind when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep was revenge. The only time in the past few years that I hadn’t been fixated on vengeance, I had been thinking about my mates instead.

I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do, yet I felt more adrift than ever.

I needed a goal. Something to focus on, to give me a reason to get out of