to do that, I need the full confidence of my board of directors. I’ve got the Popup Palooza, which is a huge undertaking in itself, as well as all my usual duties running Hudson’s. If anything goes wrong at all, if I screw up one little thing, if that confidence in me wavers…the whole house of cards fall down. And you are in my head all day long, and I don’t have room for you there.”
“I had no idea I was so powerful,” I say drily.
“You clearly don’t take this seriously. I do.” There’s a flash of anger in his eyes, and I think I see hurt there too. Or defensiveness.
I bite my lower lip. It’s so much easier to hate him when he doesn’t let these glimpses of humanity leak through, taunting me with possibility. “I’m sorry if it came across that way. Sincerely. I do want you to succeed. I want your company to succeed. I’m sorry I’m distracting you. I think about you all the time too…” I choke on that admission, then frantically wave my hand as if I could erase the words from his memory. “That’s not relevant to anything – you’re the one who’s got huge responsibilities that you need to focus on. If there’s a way for me to stop being so distracting, tell me. Would it help if I changed offices? You could move me back downstairs to the personal shoppers’ office.”
Something dark and sad flares up inside me at the thought. Why? I hate working right down the hall from Blake and being so painfully attracted and knowing that he’d never make the time for me and he doesn’t even like me as a person anyway. He wants me, yes, but he clearly can’t stand me.
What masochistic part of me would resist the chance to put some distance between us?
He frowns. “What if I offered you ten thousand dollars to quit?”
How dare he? “I’m not looking for a handout,” I say, stung. “I wasn’t raised that way. The personal shopper job is perfect for me. I love helping people, I love fashion, I’m great at putting outfits together.”
“Fifty thousand. But you have to take the offer right now.”
I rear back as if I’ve been slapped. It’s taking everything I’ve got not to cry. It really hurts that he wants so badly to get rid of me.
I desperately need the money. I could do so much with that money. It’s incredibly tempting, but the personal shoppers at Hudson’s earn a couple of hundred thousand a year between salary and commission, so if I keep working here, I could make my own damn money.
I suspect that I could negotiate an even bigger payoff, but I also want this job. And it’s becoming a point of pride.
Tears brim in my eyes, and I blink them away. “I can do a very good job here if you’d just let me.” My voice quavers, and I fight the urge to sniffle. I’m groveling, and it makes me sick inside. “Look, I know you have the power to fire me at any time. I know you could pile on so much work that I literally can’t finish things in the time you’ve assigned me. I’m just asking you to play fair and give me the chance to earn it. You did promise your sister you’d give me another chance. I’m asking you to keep your word to her and give me a real chance.”
Yeah, I played the sister card. I’m desperate.
His eyes widen in surprise. He opens his mouth to answer, but then his watch pings, and he glances down at it.
“I have to make a call.” He leaps to his feet. I’m leaking messy emotion all over the place, and he doesn’t want it to splash on him. “I’ll see you tonight,” he says. “Seven p.m. sharp.” And he hurries out of the room, leaving me sitting behind my desk with my lunch curdling inside me.
Chapter Sixteen
Blake
I go to Winona’s office a little early so I’ll have time to address the fact that I came close to making her cry, and that I’ve been a raging asshole since the day she started here. I want to explain myself – and defend myself. The thing is, I’m not being unreasonable. I wasn’t trying to force her out of her job and leave her with nothing. I made a very generous offer. I’m even willing to increase the offer, and find her a job somewhere else – for