Nonstop (Open Skies #3) - Becca Jameson Page 0,40
work through the pain properly because you didn’t have the right help you needed, you still managed to finish school, go to college, and hold down a full-time job for all these years. Who knows how long you might have gone without a snag if you hadn’t been forced to watch yet another friend held hostage? I believe eventually it would have caught up with you at some point anyway.”
Bex nodded.
“It’s going to take some work to let go of the guilt and move on with your life, but you can do this, Bex.”
Bex nodded again. “I have to.” She squeezed Bracken. “I want a normal life.”
“So, we’ll get to work on that and make it happen. This was a huge step for you, Bex. I promise you’ll feel better every week. You need to purge it out, deal with the emotions that never got dealt with. Eventually, the nightmares will be fewer and farther apart. It will get better. One day at a time.”
“Thank you.”
“I think that’s enough for today. It’s a lot. You’re exhausted. Don’t be surprised if you need to sleep a lot in the next few weeks. You need the rest. I’d like you to come in twice a week for a while. Let’s start with Tuesday and Friday.”
“Okay.”
They all stood. Bracken thanked Dr. Rawlins for squeezing them into her schedule today and then he led Bex out to the SUV. Before opening her door, he hugged her close in the vacant parking lot. He didn’t want to let her go, not even long enough to drive her home.
She hugged him back.
Finally, he tipped her face back and met her gaze. “Thank you for letting me come to your session. Thank you for trusting me enough to share all of that. You’re very brave and strong, and I know you can learn the coping skills to take back your power.”
She smiled. “Thank you for your patience and for being there for me. I know it’s not easy. I’m not easy. And I’m humbled that you’re still with me.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
Chapter 16
Bex slept all afternoon, most of the night, and half of Sunday. She was drained as if she were recovering from an illness. She woke up in a cold sweat sometimes, but surprisingly not as dramatically as she’d grown accustomed to. She might gasp, but she quickly realized where she was and didn’t succumb to a full panic.
Bracken was amazing. He treated her like spun gold. She wasn’t sure how she could have done any of this without him. If she hadn’t met him, she probably would have spent the past five weeks curled up in a ball in her condo slowly withering away.
Bracken also didn’t ask her to talk about it. He never mentioned what she’d told him at all, which she was grateful for. She really didn’t want to discuss it again yet.
On Tuesday she saw Dr. Rawlins again. This visit was far less stressful. They discussed coping strategies and Dr. Rawlins reiterated that nothing that happened had been Bex’s fault. Intellectually, she understood this. It was logical. It didn’t keep her from running down a series of what-ifs.
Likewise, she applied those same what-ifs to what happened to Christa. What if Bex had stayed in the back of the plane and Christa had gone to get the air marshal? What if Bex had tried to fight the guy? What if Bex had screamed louder?
So many questions. None of them answerable. None of them mattered. What was done was done. Thank God Christa lived through the incident and appeared to be emotionally recovering faster than Bex.
Bex had yet to tell her boss or any of her friends that she wouldn’t be returning to work. Hell, she had yet to completely internalize this concept herself.
Bracken set a hand on Bex’s shoulder, capturing her attention. She was sitting in the corner of his couch, staring into space, thinking. She hadn’t noticed that the sun had gone down and it had grown dark in the room and she was sitting in dim lighting.
Bracken slid onto the sofa next to her. “You okay?”
She sighed. “I was just thinking about what the hell I’m going to do next. I feel panicky every time I picture myself working for Open Skies. On the one hand, it seems incomprehensible. On the other hand, I shouldn’t quit my job until I have another one lined up. I need to suck it up and get back on the plane.”
She shuddered.