Nonstop (Open Skies #3) - Becca Jameson Page 0,22

Just fuck. Her life was a mess. The airline was still paying her for these six weeks, but in three weeks she would need to either go back to work or quit. And then what?

She couldn’t risk going back. She knew in her soul she would have a panic attack if she ever got on another plane, let alone work as a flight attendant. She would forever be looking over her shoulder on any flight, wondering if the man in the third or fifth or twentieth row was actually a criminal.

She wasn’t qualified to do anything else. She’d gone to college, so she at least had her bachelor’s, and it was in business, but she’d never used it. She’d chosen to work for the airline right out of college four years ago.

Loneliness and despair crept in. She was used to seeing Bracken every day. Even though she’d only been dating him a week, she felt his absence. Usually, they exchanged texts or spoke on the phone at least a few times in the morning, and then by midafternoon they were together.

She missed him. He’d been filling a void, especially now that she wasn’t working.

She decided to go for a jog late in the afternoon. Maybe the exercise would pull her out of her funk. She ran hard, not stopping for several miles. When she reached the local playground, she finally stopped, walked a few minutes to catch her breath, and then sat on a bench.

As she watched the people around her, she had the oddest sense that she wasn’t real. She felt out-of-body. Like she was a ghost or a spirit watching things unfold. Families were laughing and playing. Kids on swings. Moms pushing them. Dads chasing toddlers when they strayed too far.

Until three weeks ago, things had gone well for Bex for several years. She’d managed to shove her high school trauma deep down, ignore it, enjoy life as best she could. She’d been simply living, but she also had friends, people she could count on. She’d laughed and gone out to bars.

She’d known she wasn’t normal like other people, but she hadn’t cared for the most part. It hadn’t kept her from going to school, getting a job, living in an apartment.

It felt like everything was falling apart now, more so today than yesterday. For the first two weeks after the incident, she’d been kind of numb, not quite realizing what she was facing. She spent the third week on an emotional high, having met a man who liked her and cared enough to treat her well. She’d lied to herself and him, pretending she could date someone like a regular adult woman.

She’d known better deep down, but she hadn’t been prepared to have it all collapse. Why the hell had she let herself fall asleep on his couch in his arms?

Maybe it was for the best. The longer she went on pretending she could date Bracken and be a normal grownup, the harder it would have been to break up with him. Though she couldn’t imagine feeling any worse than she did right now. It had been less than a day and she missed him.

He was so damn kind. She’d started to believe he had enough confidence for the both of them. Maybe if her life hadn’t altered course three weeks ago, she could have dated him longer. Before the airline incident, she’d been sleeping several hours at a time for years. She’d woken up in a cold sweat less often.

Now? Now she was back to the frequent nightmares.

A little girl on the playground squealed with delight as her father tossed her into the air and caught her. The mother stood to one side smiling.

Bex felt deep jealousy. It was impossible to imagine ever having a child, let alone a husband. Hell, it was downright difficult to get pregnant if you never had sex. Not to mention what a horrible parent she would be. She’d be overprotective, never letting the kid out of her sight. It would get worse as the child grew older. Any kid of hers would hate her by the time they were a teenager.

She closed her eyes, remembering again every second of last night. The best date ever, just as she’d told him. The symphony, dinner, making out on Bracken’s couch. The feel of his hand when he first stroked her breast, the way he thumbed her nipple, taking the tight bud into his mouth. God, when he hitched her leg up and