Nokx (The Sraibur Crew #3) - Layla Nash Page 0,110

would listen. The times that she chose to speak slowly and softly were few and far between, which made that moment even more unique.

EJ tugged on a loose thread around one of the many blaster holes in the fabric. Her voice lowered still more. “I think you do. I think you make me want to do more with my life than just drift through the universe causing trouble for other people and dragging them into the chaos I create.”

He smothered another groan. “EJ...”

“No, it’s okay,” she said, and patted his chest. “I know I kick up a lot of weird energy and strange things happen around me. It’s fine. I just... I don’t want to, you know? And it didn’t really matter until all that weirdness brought me to the Sraibur and you. I feel like any more chaos might...”

He closed his eyes, chest aching for her. “More chaos might what?”

“Might drive you away,” she whispered.

“Never.” Nokx held her tightly and stuffed down the urge to find an enemy to fight so he could convince her of his unending devotion. “We will never be apart, Ellie Jane. I cannot bear the thought of my life without you in it. Wherever we go, it will be together. Whatever chaos we find... we will find it, and we will embrace it, together.”

EJ exhaled and relaxed in his arms, as if she wanted to believe him but couldn’t get all the way there. It was fine. He had decades to prove it to her. He nuzzled behind her ear. “And what was the rest of this conversation?”

Her forehead rested against the side of his neck, smooth and soft against his scales, and the slight perfume in her hair wafted up to seize his senses. “She asked if you made me better — different but a good different. And then she asked if I made you better, because... I don’t know. That’s the only way to find balance.”

“Balance,” he said, grumbling. Definitely having a word with that space chicken the moment he knew which one had put such a distressing thought in EJ’s head. “Of course you make me better. You make me feel twenty feet tall and stronger than a haugmawt fighting a haudronoft. I will do anything — anything — for you. I will leave the Sraibur if you want to, so already you are saving me from a life of piracy.”

A hint of a smile tugged at her mouth. Nokx stroked her side, closing his eyes so he could revel in the warm comfort of having her in his lap. He only wished the chair was more comfortable. EJ snuggled closer and pulled her legs up, and Nokx arranged them so he could cradle her and surround her with his arms. He kissed her temple. “What brought this on?”

EJ took a deep breath and slid her hand into his robes and against the scales over his hearts. “We haven’t talked about what happened on the ship and before and... everything.”

There was a whole galaxy left unsaid in that “everything.” Nokx braced himself for a long conversation of convincing EJ he could make things up to her.

Chapter 50

EJ

She never felt brave. Most of the time EJ knew she was a coward, but when it really mattered, sometimes she could pull strength from somewhere deep inside and hold on to courage until things started to go right again. Then she could go back to being a coward. But she didn’t know if she was brave enough to really ask Nokx all the things she needed to know. If Bula hadn’t pointed it out right in front of her, EJ might have avoided that conversation for a very long time. Maybe forever.

She could have lived her entire life not asking but wondering about his answer.

It reminded her of when Nokx held her in the mess hall while she talked about those awful memories from the Academy and training. Not looking at him eased the stress of talking to him, and she felt rather small and protected there in his lap. She watched the colors in his scales through one of the many tears in his robes and marveled that he’d survived at all. It was a miracle they both lived through the run through the Hollbrd.

“Neither of us were completely honest, in the beginning,” she said. His scales remained blue with hints of green and swirls of purple. “And I think too much happened to make it easy to just... trust. So I want