Nokx (The Sraibur Crew #3) - Layla Nash Page 0,106
dear. Although you have given yours in return, I think. Is he worth it? Is he worth what you are giving?”
She felt the question like a punch in the chest. How had Bula known what she really felt for Nokx? Maybe the space chickens were psychic in addition to being scary as hell. EJ kept watching Nokx as his chest rose and fell under the golden dome of healing energy projected by the reju pod. “I don’t know. I think so. I hope so.”
“Does he make you want to be better?” she asked quietly, not fluttering or flapping. “To do better? To be more than what you were?”
EJ’s chest tightened and her heart sank and jumped at the same time. Sure, Nokx had argued with her about being a criminal and making terrible choices, but doing things differently, the way he wanted, didn’t necessarily mean better. Sometimes it was just different. But when he’d looked at her on the ship, like he was proud of her... She did want to see that look again.
A knot tied up her throat. “Yeah.”
“And have you made him better? Made him change? Made him reconsider?”
And again, EJ had to ruminate. Sure, Nokx was the same rough barbarian warrior as when she met him and he dragged her across the Sraibur to put in front of his captain. She remembered that first meal in the mess hall, when he’d growled and bared his teeth at the other males in the room, and even tried to hide her from Violet. Had he changed in the last few days? Was it even possible she’d affected him?
But on the Hollbrd... He’d listened to her. Taken orders when he could have bulled his way into the lead. He’d acknowledged that she knew more about the ship and could navigate better. He’d stood by while she bargained with Gygak, and was gentle with Klee when the youngster was nervous and jumpy. Would Nokx from a week ago have done those things? Or would he have knocked everything down and gone his own way?
EJ took a deep breath. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
“That is the answer you need,” Bula said. Her wings brushed EJ’s back and her talons clicked against the bench as she readjusted her position. “There are many questions, with something like this, many questions. But you need one answer. Just one.”
Even in the short amount of time that EJ spent around Bula, she appreciated how the space chicken thought. Bula saw through bullshit and got right to the heart of the matter, no matter what. No matter if it made someone really, really uncomfortable. EJ rubbed her jaw and didn’t look away from Nokx as his head moved and his heels braced against the flat hospital bed. “What if the answer is no?”
“It is better to know,” Bula said. Her beak parted and the razor-sharp edges flashed as she craned her long neck to peer at the Xaravian across the room. “Maybe you give him more time. Maybe you give you more time. But you cannot choose unless you know. It is better, much better, to know these things.”
EJ wasn’t so sure she agreed. What would she do if Nokx rejected her again? Or — maybe worse — he wanted to stay with her and she was never sure of him? Was it even possible to be sure of another being and how they felt?
Bula fluttered as she hopped up and paced up to the bed to survey Nokx as he growled and clenched his fists, still unconscious. “He is fierce, this one. Very fierce. Much like his kind, but then perhaps unique for you.”
She looked at EJ with one black, shiny eye and blinked. EJ nodded but couldn’t find the words to speak. Bula chortled more and hopped toward the door. “Then we will wait for the answer and hope that it does not take too long. Not so very long. There is still one more problem to deal with. A problem and a question. Oh my.”
The space chicken clucked to herself as she disappeared into the corridor and left EJ alone on the bench as the tall medical officer floated slowly through the sick bay. There was no hint of how long it would take for Nokx to wake, and no telling how much time they had on the Lovelace before they had to decide whether to stay or go.
Chapter 49
Nokx
Nokx woke again but was not alone. EJ dozed in a chair next to where he lay.