“These are definitely out of place.” Arlo squeezed in between Kevin and Mackenzie. Of course Arlo would want to take control, especially in this room, which was so perfectly tailored to her strengths. But Persey wasn’t interested in the power struggle. She stepped aside, abdicating leadership, just as Shaun and Wes slid in to take her place.
“Definitely anachronistic.” Shaun’s eyes slowly scanned the contents from character to character.
Arlo scowled. “I literally just said that.”
“You literally said ‘out of place,’” Shaun corrected her.
“Which means the same thing. Literally.”
Wes groaned. “And I figuratively wish you’d both shut the hell up.”
The power struggle was in full effect.
Riot crouched down at the side of the case. “Marvel, Star Wars, Scooby-Doo…And is that a wrestler?”
Persey stood on her tiptoes to see over his spiky hair. He was right. Shirtless and ripped, the figurine wore the usual black Speedo bottoms, kneepads, and lace-up boots that indicated he was a professional wrestler. He was a redhead, the plastic beard molded onto his face painted a deep auburn, which matched the hair on his head—shaved on both sides and sticking straight up in the middle. A Mohawk.
“Like you,” she murmured out loud.
“Huh?” Riot said, looking up at her.
Kevin hit him on the arm. “She said this dude looks like you. Or maybe she’s just picturing you shirtless in manties.”
Persey gritted her teeth. She wanted to smack him.
“Jealous?” Riot asked.
“As if,” Mackenzie answered for him. She couldn’t fathom why Kevin might be interested in anyone else while she was around.
“I can see the resemblance in the hair,” Kevin continued, unperturbed. “The rest? I don’t know—you don’t look yoked up under all that tweed.”
Riot blinked. “I understand the individual words coming out of your mouth, but when you attempt to string them together into a sentence, I’m just completely lost.”
“If you’re done participating in the hetero mating ritual,” Neela said, sounding somewhat irritated, “I believe this collectible doll is meant to be a representation of Riot.” Then she pointed at a different part of the case. “Because that Lego figure? She’s dressed in Slytherin house robes.”
Arlo tilted her head. “You’re right. That’s Pansy Parkinson.”
“Slytherin,” Persey said. “Like Arlo.”
Neela smiled. “Exactly.”
“I think…” Persey crouched in front of the case so she could see the figures straight on, the similarities coming into focus as she scanned them from left to right. Eight figures…
“You think what?” Kevin asked, prompting her. As always.
“I think these are meant to represent each of us.”
“HUH.” ARLO KNELT DOWN BESIDE HER. “PANSY PARKINSON and the redheaded wrestler, check. Then we have Lando Calrissian. Judging by the rubber cape and unarticulated elbow and knee joints, I’d say that’s from the original 1980 Empire Strikes Back collection, and I’m assuming it’s meant to represent Shaun.”
“The Lando system?” Kevin said.
Shaun tilted his head. “What are you talking about?”
“Dude,” Kevin laughed, “funny.”
“I don’t understand.”
Kevin’s laughter switched from amused to nervous. “It’s a quote. From Empire Strikes Back. Leia says, ‘Lando system?’ and Han replies, ‘Lando’s not a system; he’s a man.’”
Only Shaun wasn’t being funny. He was missing that upgrade. “I’ve never seen a Star Wars movie.”
Kevin teetered backward as if he’d been kicked in the chest. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Lando Calrissian, as originally portrayed by American actor Billy Dee Williams,” Neela explained rapidly, “is an old friend of Han Solo’s, who at the time of Episode Five is serving as the baron administrator at the mining colony on the planet Bespin.”
“So he’s middle management from the seventies?” Shaun asked.
“Eighties,” Kevin said.
“Well, technically the character is from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away,” Neela said, laughing at her own joke, “but by way of 1980, yes.”
“Could be worse,” Mackenzie said, nodding to the other end of the case. “You could have been Velma.”
The big-headed Funko POP! doll of Velma from Scooby-Doo had massively exaggerated square-rimmed glasses that reminded Persey of…
“Is that me?” Neela squeaked.
Mackenzie wrinkled her mouth in fake sympathy. “’Fraid so.”
“But…but isn’t she the frumpy one?”
“Well, she’s not the hot one,” Wes said, “that’s for sure.”
Neela’s fuchsia blush was back, deeper and more intense than before. “I don’t think…I mean, I know I’m not…”
Poor Neela. She should have known better than to put her insecurities on display in front of this bunch of jackals, just waiting for the smell of a rotting corpse to pounce on their dinner. But Persey wasn’t going to let Neela fall prey to the likes of Wes and Mackenzie.