No Turning Back (Breaking the Rules #4) - A.M. Madden Page 0,74

our lunch,” I said, dropping the metal pan on the stovetop and staring down at the three charcoal lumps.

“Ree,” Ryder said close behind me. For whatever reason, I couldn’t turn. Maybe it was because of the tears that welled and blurred my vision, maybe it was because I felt that same sick feeling as the day that he left me.

You’re being melodramatic, Riana. Stop it, my head scolded.

It’s the hormones, my conscience countered.

But deep down I knew it was neither.

When his hands landed on my shoulders, the sob I had been biting back escaped. “Baby, I didn’t want to worry you. I was going to tell you soon, I swear. It’s fixable. I just need to do some legwork… chase prospects more aggressively.”

I twisted, coming face-to-face with him. “Tell me the truth, Ryder. Enough with the sugarcoating.”

His jaw clenched while his eyes bore into mine. “Doug has been dragging my name through the mud.” I knew right then and there it wasn’t fixable.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ryder

I’m going to kill that fucker.

And as quickly as that thought popped into my mind, I knew it wasn’t Wes’s fault. This was on me. I’d made her a promise—the truth no matter how difficult it was to hear.

I’d fucked up.

Watching her nervously biting her lip and wringing her hands leached into my heart. Yet that paled in comparison to seeing the hurt in her eyes. By palming her cheeks, I gave her no choice but to stare back at me. “Ree, I didn’t want you consumed with this. That’s the only reason I kept it from you.”

“I knew,” she responded with a sad smile. “I knew something was wrong. I could see it in your eyes when you didn’t think I was watching.” She shrugged as an apology. “I’m probably as much at fault as you are.”

“Don’t,” I snapped, releasing my hold while taking my frustrations out on my neck. “Don’t turn this around on me. I should’ve told you. I just wanted to try and fix it before I burdened you with—”

“Burdened?” she snapped back. “Ryder, you’re going to be my husband. I’m not burdened by your stress as much as you’d be with mine. Unless you knock this shit off, we won’t work.” That statement may as well have been a machete, and my involuntary flinch from hearing something that inconceivable caused her expression to soften. She now palmed my face with both of her hands. “I love you. Sharing your stress or your struggles with me won’t lessen that. But repeatedly lying by omission is toxic… no different than acid killing something beautiful one drip at a time.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I pulled her into my embrace and kissed her forehead. “Promise me you won’t worry about this, though. Sometimes you must go down before you can go up. It’ll be fine.” She searched my expression for a crack in my resolve and, after finding nothing, allowed herself to smile.

“I promise,” she said before leaning on her toes to press her lips against mine. I tentatively took over the kiss, slipping my tongue into her mouth to skim against hers. A tiny moan escaped, and then two firm hands pushed against my chest. “Hey. I was just getting started.”

“Which is why I stopped you. There’s one more thing I want to talk about.”

Before she even said another word, I knew what was coming. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell Wes about the pregnancy,” I offered as a pathetic excuse. “Please don’t read into it.” Her eyes narrowed a bit, her mouth opened to speak, and then she clamped it shut. “What?”

A deep hue reddened her cheeks as she asked, “Are you embarrassed by it?”

“No, of course not.” My response didn’t seem to convince her. With a resigned sigh, I admitted, “I’m not embarrassed… don’t ever think that. I just…” Shit.

How could I tell her that there were times I wished it was my baby she carried, despite the fear and the anxiety that came with it? Despite the fact she didn’t want children someday. Misinterpreting my silence caused her to frown.

“Look… I understand it’s an awkward situation, but me being a surrogate has no reflection on you or on us.”

Deciding her assumption was better than my reality, I merely conceded, “I know.”

“There will be times it’ll be awkward… like if a stranger assumes it’s ours. Who cares what people think?”

“They’ll think you’re an amazing person.” I kissed her softly. “And they’ll be jealous you’re mine. Speaking of… we need to set a