Hearing that felt good, but it didn’t stop the panic, the fear that was consuming me more and more as the minutes ticked by.
“Is it her safety you’re worried about?”
I stared at my favorite picture of her, one I had laminated and taped to my desk. Connor had given it to me a while back. It was from the summer right before we’d met. After she had graduated, she and Connor had gone to Scotland to visit their Gran and Gramps for a month. I loved this one because she looked exactly how she had the night we met, her hair all long and wavy—hippie hair—and she was standing in front of the ruins of the castle at Inverness. The day was overcast, but her smile and hair were brighter than any sunlight. She wore a tight black sweater and holey jeans, buttercups and bluebells filled her arms.
My Baby Girl—sweet, wild, untamed, untouched by the sorrow about to fill her life.
She fuckin’ unmans me. She strips me down to my fundamental core and shows me exactly what it means to be…human.
“Yes,” I finally answered Jason. “That’s what I’m fuckin’ afraid of.” My heart jammed its way into my throat, feeling like it was shaking rather than beating. “Fuck. I feel like I’m a hair away from a fuckin’ heart attack.”
“Let’s go get her then,” he said, dropping a hand on my shoulder. “If she gets mad, she gets mad. Just tell her how you’re feelin’. She’ll get it. She’s cool like that.”
My heart was spazzing something fierce, feeling almost numb at the same time. I rubbed the heel of my hand over The Tattoo. Fuck, it wasn’t helping.
“Jace—” I tried to suck in a breath. I could feel my fuckin’ pupils dilate with fear and adrenaline. “Oh, fuck, man—”
And then we both felt it.
Beneath our feet, the ground shivered. The walls and glass in the studio rattled. The coffee mug filled with my pens and pencils trembled.
Connor and Flipper rushed into my office, X right on their heels.
“What the fuck was that?” asked X, stunned.
I looked up at Jace, and he stared back at me. This whole fuckin’ place was soundproof. If something could make this place shake and rattle like that—
We all jumped to our feet and raced to the front of house when another one hit.
“Fuck!” I screamed, feeling it, feeling my Baby Girl.
She was fuckin’ terrified! I could fuckin’ taste it, too, hot and metallic.
Oh, my Baby Girl! Oh, fuck! What’s happenin’ to you?
We busted open the studio door. Outside, the fuckin’ air felt thick, like it was vibrating. All around us, car alarms were going berserk.
I gotta get to her! Oh, fuck! Is that smoke?
Just a few blocks away, where The Center was—
“FUCK!” I screamed. Baby Girl, I feel you, I’m comin’—
BOOM!
A blast knocked all of us on our asses, and a massive black mushroom cloud blossomed into the sky.
“NNNOOO!”
I was fuckin’ losing my shit, my head. I was going apeshit, inside and out. There was no way I could control my body. I was shaking, trying to run on legs that wouldn’t work. I was frozen, but my head was everywhere all at once. One thing I knew for sure, I had to get to my Baby Girl.
“KENNA!”
Jason and X jumped me, pulling me back.
She’s…she’s…
I don’t feel her.
My other half, my whole life, my heart…felt dead.
There was nothing.
I don’t feel her no more.
Connor grabbed me, too, and I collapsed back to the ground under them, under the heavy weight of not feeling her in the world. I couldn’t fuckin’ think straight. I could only watch in horror as the black cloud stretched higher up into the sky.
Where are you, Baby Girl? Oh God. Oh, God, please don’t take her. Not my Baby Girl, not my precious angel. Oh, fuck no! Take everythin’ else, anythin’ else, just not her. Not my reason for existing…not my colors…
The world turned to ash, soot, and fog. I could see the sun was shining, but it didn’t mean shit.
I can’t feel her. I can’t feel her.
In the distance, sirens sounded.
“Phil—” That was X.
“Kenna.” I choked. “I can’t feel her no more.”
“We don’t know what’s goin’ on,” said Flipper. He was sitting on my chest.
“I can’t feel her!” I screamed. My hands flew to my head, tearing at my hair. “Oh my fuckin’ God! Kenna!”
Jace and X each grabbed an arm, and Connor got in my face. I could see it in him, too—the