“Here,” he said, lifting me and setting me on the counter, taking over the tedious job himself.
I thought he was just so desperate to touch me even if it was simply divesting me of my mask. His long fingers gently peeled each one off while his eyes absorbed the sight of my face.
“How do you feel now?” I asked him.
His eyes flickered to mine. “Better, I guess. Well, yeah, a lot better actually.”
“Good,” I replied.
A part of me wanted to probe him about Devon. Throughout his tale, I could feel the anguish in him as he had spoken of his best friend.
I still didn’t trust Camryn. There was something about that girl that didn’t make sense. Somehow—and it really disturbed me that I thought this—she didn’t strike me as a victim. With Sheri, I had always felt that she had suffered at the hands of others. But not with Camryn. Maybe she was just better at hiding it.
Right now was not the time for discussing either of them, so I let it go.
Phil continued picking off the gems, placing them in a tiny pile next to me on the counter.
“You looked beautiful tonight,” he told me softly. “I was so proud to have you up there with me, showin’ you off to the world.”
I laughed. “Yeah, what made you decide to do that?”
He shrugged. “With your face all sugared up, I guess I felt it was safe to show you off like that. No one knows what you really look like, and the ones who do…know how fuckin’ serious I am about you. Plus, the girls who hang around us at shows? They need to step off and realize I ain’t fuckin’ around. I haven’t touched any of them in a good long while, in any case.”
“I guess you’ve fucked all of them at some point.” I sighed in resignation.
“At some point or another. Yeah. I’m sorry about that, too.”
“You don’t need to be.”
“Well then, I’m sorry for myself. I’ve dipped my shit in some poisoned fuckin’ cunts, and in the end, you’ve had to share what has always been yours with all of them. It bugs me, is all.”
“Did you punish them, too?” I asked gently.
He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “No. I went lookin’ for girls who I’d never have to see again, ones who wanted…it.”
“So…everyone else really did get what was mine before I could have it,” I stated, not really meaning to say it out loud.
Phil sucked in a sharp breath. “Baby…”
My eyes stared hard into his. “It’s true. What can you experience with me that you haven’t already done with countless others?”
That was a low blow, and I knew it, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.
“All of me isn’t enough?” he asked dejectedly.
He wasn’t just talking about his cock, that much I knew.
Deflating suddenly, I admitted, “It is. I’m just being a brat. Because for me, being with you really is new and exciting, and I get to find out all of these things about myself with you.”
“But it feels like that for me, too,” he said. “Every time I’m with you, it’s new. It’s amazin’.”
I nodded, and he snatched a crystal off my Third Eye.
“What do you want, Kenna? Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”
Just say it! Tell him what you want! No woman has had him like that, and that’s what you need from him. You need to feel that power over him, just like he needs to feel it over you!
“You know how you like to tie me up sometimes?”
“Yeah. You want me to tie you up more?”
I shook my head. “The first time we did that…you told me you never had it done to you. I want to be the only who has you like that.”
“Oh.”
He started removing the gems around my eyes, and neither of us made eye contact with the other for a few minutes. Perhaps I had crossed a boundary with him—which I thought was pretty unfair, considering I had none where he was concerned.
It took me a moment to realize he had finished and that he was looking at me, waiting for me to meet his gaze. When I did…
“Okay,” he said softly.
My eyebrows rose. “Okay?”
He nodded. “I’m yours, Kenna. Whatever you want from me, it’s yours.”
My heart started pounding wildly, and suddenly, I wasn’t so sure about it anymore.